An underage man walks into a bar. He then was shot and kicked out of the bar. An overage person found the body. What age is he? Normal Age

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What do u call a man who sells hot dogs on the street? A Mexican

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Seven

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-How do you wake up Lady Gaga? -Poke her face

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Q: Whats the first thing you see when you wake up? A: I don't know.

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How do you keep a black man from hanging around your tree? You cut the rope.

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You are driving a canoe home when the wheels suddenly fall off. How many pancakes does it take to fill a doghouse?

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What's black and crawls around on eight legs? An octopus that just inked itself.

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LeBron James: Kobe, i got a ring will you stop making fun of me? Kobe Bryant: Yes Kobe and Michael Jordan: LeBron asked if he gets a ring if we'll stop making fun of him LeBron James: Hey Kobe why didn't you answer when i called? Kobe Bryant: Sorry, I only heard it ring once

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What is Blue, Pink, and Green, and sometimes sparkles when wet? Grass. I lied about the Blue and Pink to throw you off...because I can.

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What did the girl with cancer get for her birthday? Hairspray.

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What do a reindeer and a grape have in common? They are both purple, except for the reindeer.

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Why couldn't John ride a bicycle? Because he is a fish.

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What happened to the guy who dropped his soap in the prison shower? His friend picked it up for him.

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yay for the idiot that posted "whats white, sticky and yummy? milk". WTF dude? milk has never been sticky and good at the same time and its never going to be. infact, ive never known milk to be sticky, maybe after such a long period of being spoiled the milk becomes somewhat sticky, but your attempt at creating a perverted joke that wasnt in anyway funny or even close to being correct was so poor i feel the need to post this and hope you read it and decide returning to school would be beneficial to the rest of your life. I guarantee everyone who reads your post about milk being sticky is thinking something pretty similar to what i am.

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Why did the little boy fall out the window? A child molester pushed him.

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A man walks into his doctor's office He says: ''Doctor, I have said goodbeye to my family and friends and I have decided to take the pills you offered me and die peacefully in my sleep, I won't suffer any longer from my disease''. The doctor answers: ''You are in luck, we still have a few of them left''

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed. I will also remove you from my friends list on Facebook because stealing isn't nice.

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What did the man do after he got in his car with out his keys? He started it up and drove Away

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What did the fat gypsy say to the attractive young woman aged twenty-five? I know you are probably not remotely interested in having sex with me, but I'm afraid that you have no choice due to the fact that I've locked all of the doors.

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why couldn't the bicycle stand up on it's own? because it was two tired

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Your mom is so ugly that you should buy her a paper bag to cover her face because she is just so very unattractive that it burns mine and everyone else's eyes.

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Paul was mowing his lawn when he felt a bump. It turned out it was a bunny. Paul felt bad but the bunny felt worse

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap ...in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations])That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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