A squirrel walks up to a tree and says "I forgot to store my nuts for winter now I am dead". Ha! It's funny because the squirrel gets dead.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He did it for fitness.

What did the Elephant say the other Elephant? We do not know. Their vocalization is still a mystery to us.

What did the little boy with cancer get for christmas? Nothing. He was a jew. Jew's don't celebrate christmas.

What do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind.

How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died

What does an Israeli gun sound like? Jew, jew, jew, jew, jew

Nathan likes butt games with African American men

Why did the chicken cross the road the chicken is blind and deaf and happened to wander into the street and got hit by a car and was instantly killed

Who is the greatest cook ever? Adolof Hitler

"I never want to see you again!" shouted Stevie Wonder to the genie in the bottle, as a young boy.

Anne Widdecombe becomes attractive.

What do you call a shop dedicated to selling rap music, watermelons, grape soda and fried chicken? A poor business model

I had friends on the Death Star.

Firgen and the blung brigade

Why do dogs walk across the street? Cause they can

The number 69 is? Just a plain old number that has just as much meaning as 68 and 70.

what happened to the girl next door ? she was brutally murdered.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Reality TV.

Why was the little girl crying? She got raped by a giant scorpion.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Peer pressure

Knock Knock, Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? Knock Knock...

what happend when 3 white guys and 3 black guys try out for a basketball team? They all made it because you need 5 people on the team and it is good to have an extra person on the team in case some one gets hurt, fouled out, late for the game or dies.

Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but orange gourds. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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