What do you get when you mix a crap with a fart and a slug? Urmom

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Q. What did the man with no heart say? A. Nothing. No living creature can live without a heart.

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Your mom is so stupid that she failed out of high school and was forced to prostitute for money, thus resulting in you.

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Politics.

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21

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What did susan boyle say when she saw a 10 year old boy get hit by a bus? "OH MY GOD, SOMEBODY RING AN AMBULANCE"

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Roses are red, violets are blue. Except, technically, violets are violet.

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-How do you befriend Tom Hanks? -Kidnap his son

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Q: What did the Asian say to the Jew? A: Nothing. They were both anti-social and preferred to stray from face-to-face conversations.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The customers observing this quickly leave because the bartender is talking to a horse, which does not talk.

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Itookasipasoda

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How do you kill a blond? Make her listen to the song "Friday" for two hours straight.

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A dog walks into a bar. A patron checks its tags and promptly calls the owner.

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a man walks into a bar and dies

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Justin Bieber saying "shawty"

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Knock knock "Steve I have a door bell."

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a fat girl walks into McDonalds....

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How do you make a black man cry? Kill his family

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Are you from Jamacia? Because I want to have sex with you.

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What's worse than being mugged? Being raped by bulbasaur.

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I like my girls like my wisky. Strong, tastes and the leading cause of liver damage.

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what do u call a black person a black person dehh

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what is the best thing to do if you are stuck in a cave with ten lions that haven't eaten in ten years? well the lions aren't the thing to worry about because if they have not eaten in ten years then they would have starved to death

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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