A Penguin walk into a bar and asks "Have you seen my brother?" And the bartender replies "What does he look like?"

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Who cut the cheese? It's sliced so evenly.

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Why did Sidney drop her ice cream? A refrigerator fell on er

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What did one traffic light say to the other? Nothing, as traffic lights are incapable of thought as they are not living.

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What did the duck say when it saw a puddle? Nothing.Ducks are uncapable of speaking human speech.

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how many licks did it take the boy to get to the center of a tootsie pop? he died of cancer

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why cant dinosaurs talk? because they're all dead.

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A Hispanic walks into an alleyway and sees two of his rich friends. He desperately needs money and only has enough time to shoot one of them because he sees the police following him. He decides which one to shoot... Wait, if he has enough time to think about this shouldn't he just shoot both of them?

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at poems i like your boobs

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There was once a little boy... Boy: Daddy, I am so proud of you that when I grow up I want to be just like you! God: Son how dareth thou! That is a horribleth and shameful wish! I just called the adoption agency thy areth noteth my... er.. sonneth anymoreth! NOW GO TO HELL! Oh, and you get same powers as I by the way, just for Good measure or something, except I can destroy you whenever I want, I just do not want to because your evil will hopefully make me look good in comparison after I rid the world of the first testament anyways :P Boy: Yay? :( Where is hell by the way? Moral: That little boy grew up to become... SUPERMAN! While Satan never discovered what hell was since its a concept added by corrupt priests around the 1700`s in order to scare people into following their God instead.

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What's the difference between a cow and some dirt? They're the same except for almost everything

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Roses are red, Violets are blue...........Im wearing socks

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Q:Whats yellow and white and sits at the bottom of a pool? A: A baby with slashed floaties Q:Whats red and gory and sits at the top of a pool? A: Floaties with a slahed baby

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What do you do at a club? You club.

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how do you stop a rhino from charging? you shoot it with a gun until it's either dead or no longer charging at you because thats a highly dangerous situation.

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Why did Hitler commit suicide? ... ... He committed suicide for the simple reason that the soviet and allied forces were closing in on him and he knew that he did not stand a chance of winning the war.

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What happened when the black man approached a dinosaur? Nothing, for dinosaurs were eradicated from the face of the earth 135 million years ago.

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What's worse than finding out you have cancer? Nothing... (The game.)

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A little girl was curious about where people come from so she asked a very controversial question. Girl goes up to her mother and ask "Mommy, where do babies come from?" Mother replies "Ask daddy." Girl says "Daddy, where do babies come from?" Father replies "Ask the dog." Girl then goes up to her dog and says "Doggy, where do babies come from?" The dog doesn't reply because it's a dog.

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What's worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings. What's worse than 2 bee stings? The Hollocaust. What's worse than the Hollocaust? 3 bee stings.

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David shut the fuck up your cat has asthma and i dropped a weight on its little fucking head that pikey should of drowned it furthermore your sister looks like a greasy alien

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Why was the man scared? Because he was being attacked by a giant tiger.

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:D STORY TIME! :D ... :D So once upon a time there was a... :) Uhm... :\ I forgot... Sorry :(

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what is worse than throwing a dead baby off a cliff? catching one with a pitchfork!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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