Two monkeys are sitting in a tree. One monkey looks to the other monkey and says, "I bet I can jump from this tree to the next tree without falling." The other monkey replies, "I'm sure you could. You're a monkey."

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Me and my wife set and watch the eleven o'clock news every night. My wife always thinks that she has the different disease that is mentioned each day. One night she was practically in tears telling me that she had the disease that was talked about that night. I looked at her and said "honey, there is no way that you have testicular cancer. You don't even have testiculars." The End

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guess what my weiner dog did last night? pooped in my bed

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ben, you just called me. Aren't we supposed to go jogging. Oh yea, I lost track of time. Is it cold out? Yea it is. You should bring a jacket. Alright, can you get me a water? Yea, no problem. Thankyou.

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Whats in your pants, might get caught in your zipper and you may hold it all day. your pocket.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause Magic Johnson has AIDS

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Nero? You are alive? Holy shit! You are like so my hero! I love you man! I was so saddened to hear you where tortured and killed, but then I read about this "Axel Knight" and hoped it was you, it sure sounded like you! Please tell me its no joke, you are a hero around these parts, and we really miss you, honestly sir, is it true point zero has become some sort of utopia or are the painkillers making you a bit Hazy? I am Erica by the way, still with the order, but what is this about your empire?

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Q:How many pieces of paper can one tree make? A:Trees cannot make paper, people make paper from trees. So the answer is none, a tree can't make any paper whatsoever.

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Why did the woman call 911? Fire.

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Why did the vagina smell so bad? Because it had yeast infection.

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Have you ever tried Ethiopian food? No. Neither have they.

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Why did the black man cross the road? To get to the other ____?

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How do you make your children nice? You dont have any.

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What do you call a black priest? Holy s***

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My dad is lactose intolerant. He shouldn't eat cheese.

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How do u kill a horse? U stab it with a huge butcher knife

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What do you call a man having sex with his own mother. - Gross.

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What's the best part of having sex with twenty eight year olds? They are of the legal age

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Sam: This math homework is gay. Cory: You should pursue a romantic relationship with your gay math homework.

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Why did the boy fall asleep in class? He was tired.

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dylan wishes life was like cod. that way he would actually be able to do something cool

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yo mamma's so fat, when she jumped into the ocean, everyone yelled "tsunami!".

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Roses are red vielots are blue but they aren't as sweet as you.Can you be my Valentine ny choclate cupcake will you me my choclate

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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