Knock Knock! Who's there? The police, your father just died in a boat accident.

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What do you call a fish without an eye? Impaired of vision.

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What did the woman say when she didn't finish her meal? Can I get a to go box

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Bill went into a store and bought a bagel. However, after eating it, he realizes he meant to buy a doughnut. He tells the cashier that he meant to order a doughnut, and asks for his money back. The cashier says no and the man leaves.

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how come timmy didnt brush his teeth he didnt have a toothbrush

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Whats Brown and Sticky A) a stick

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How do u know what a ass is. You no once you meet adam mac.

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Blonde: Where's the ice? Asian: In the freezer.

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What did the stick of butter say to the lemon? "I'm a stick of butter"

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Knock Knock Who did that?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Vacuum, purple, zebra.

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What's worse than tornadoes in the USA? Earthquakes in Japan.

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A duck flies into a bar. The bartender allows it to stay because it turns into a beautiful swan. The goose then lays a golden egg and the bartender stares in awe as a giant bean stalk grows out of the egg. He's ecstatic and really glad he let the flamingo stay with all the wonderful colors and magic going on.

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Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me

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Two cats are sat on a window ledge. One cat looks to the other and says "Meoww".

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Your mother is so fat; I love fat fat people.

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Knock, Knock! Go away!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from K.F.C

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie-roll center of a tootsie-pop? zero if you bite it

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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Why couldn't the bunny hop? Because it lost both it's legs

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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what's grosser then 1000 babies stapled to a tree?? 1 baby stapled to 1000 trees

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was sick and tired of all the repeated monkey jokes and commited suicide and preceded to fall out of the tree.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops