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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

What's worse than being annal raped by a black man? Well lots of things are but being raped by a guy who has around a 7 inch penis may be hurtful I'm sure being cut open and eaten alive may be worse;)

The teacher asks Timmy "why is your cat at school today?" Timmy says, crying, "Because I heard my daddy say to my mommy, 'I'm going to eat that pussy when the kids leave.' so I'm saving him!"

Fun Fact: If humans stood in a single file line around the equator, most of them would drown.

The man was driving down the road at an opropriat speed and got t-boned. The women in the other car got out and tried to help the man but the man was already out of the car and call 911

What did the mexican firefighter name his 2 children? Jose and Juan.

What Sound does a baby make in a blender? I don't know I'm to busy masturbating to it

A man walks into a bar After months of rehab he is giving in to his drinking abuse again and will ruin his life as well as his family

Color Blind people are so stupid that they can't even see color. I've been seeing color since I was a small child. They are so stupid.

PENIS

Q: If 2+2=Fish, then what does 3+3=? A: 6.

What's blue and fluffy? Blue fluff!

knock knock. Whos there? YELLOW PEOPLE

Why can't Micheal J. Fox draw a perfectly straight line? It is impossible for humans to draw perfect lines.

A devout Christian dies. Peter winks as his soul passes through the impenetrable Gates of Heaven. Everyone is gay and– like, gay as in happy– Fags aren't allowed in Heaven.

What does a cookie and the twin towers have in common? They both crumble.

What did the guy at the office order on his pizza. Pepperoni :)

What is big red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater.

OMG I was sexting my friend and I accidentally sent my naked picture to my parents. What do I do? Tell your friend that you accidentally sent your naked picture to your parents.

So Nero, seriously, don't be mean, call me, I am going to bed now, nighty nite.

Why didn't the disabled kid cross the road? He didn't make it.

How do you drown in a tea cup? You find a big enough tea cup.

What's the difference between a pessimist and a magnet? One is made of flesh and can talk, think and do things. The other is made of metal and can only pull things towards itself or push them away. But strangely, the latter is a lot more welcome in most situations.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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