A middle aged woman walks into a bar. Its Friday and there is a breeze in the air. She leaves shortly thereafter.

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What's white and yellow with red all over? Vietnam War

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Why is it wrong to love your neighbour? You would be loving a dickhead.

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Grandma used to say "you only die once." Years later, I learned the wisdom behind those words.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? It depends on their painting skills.

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Why did george washington not make it to the prom? because george washington is dead

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why was the old man on the ground he fell

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I once walked into my grandmas house to find her laying face down on the ground. It turns out that everyone was planking but grandma wasn't breathing...

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Hurr durr, I shit my pants.

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If you woke up in the morning feeling like P Diddy, get tested. Immediately.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Teacher: Pop quiz time class. Sally, what year did we first land on the moon? Sally: It was 1969. Teacher: That is correct. Larry, who killed JFK? Larry: What? I didn't do it, I wasn't even born yet! Teacher: Just answer the question Larry: But sir, I swear I would never do that. You have to believe me. Teacher: Larry, you're an idiot

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What should you do if reading the antijokes on this site makes you collapse with laughter? There is no need to worry about this because it won't happen.

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a father listens to his son while he was on the computer. he heard "BABBY BABBY OHHHHH" and busted in He was releaved to find him masterbating to porn because he thought it was Justin Beiber

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? Get in the car!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was attempting to get back to his farm.

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A man walks into a bar owned by horses. The bartender says, "Why the short face?"

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for his birthday? A bike

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whats worse than taking a refrigerator to the face? the holocaust and AIDs

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What is the difference between a Jew and a Muslim? Their religion.

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your momma is so poor that she is on welfare.

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How do you make a dog say meow? Freeze it and put it through a woodchipper. (MEROWRRRR)

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What does a shortstop do when the ball is by third base? He leaves the field to go to the hospital, his little sister just had a heart attack.

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Doctor doctor, i think i need glasses! Go to an opticians then...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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