What did the banana say to the tree? Nothing, bananas can't talk

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Your mother is so fat that when she sits around the house she is likely to be there for some time.

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A religion is like a penis. They are both nouns.

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A black man goes down to Alabama in the 1960s; He gets lynched.

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Yesterday I saw a blind man walking down the street, I asked if he needed help and he said "I'm fine thanks." Later on I saw a deaf man walking down the street and asked if he needed help. He didn't hear me, he then fell off the curb and was hit by a car.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a passing car.

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Why was the boy in the hospital? He was visiting his grandmother, she had cancer and the doctor gave her 3 months to live.

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Your family is so fat that when their feet hit the ground, it recorded 9 on the richter scale, because they were launched at the Earth at close to the speed of light, and when you account for relativistic mass effects, the amount of energy that was displaced into the ground was tremendous

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Whats the Difference between a corvette and a pile of dead babies? A Pile of dead babies is basically useless

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What do you call a child with a peg leg, and eye patch, and no hand? Names

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Why did the batmobile lose a wheel? Because the Joker was raping Robin too hard!

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What did the 3 month old puppy get for Valentines day? Heart Worms. What'd he get for Christmas? Put down.

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Why is Harry Potter fake Because its a movie

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Q: What's circlular and has two hands? A: A skinny person, i was kidding about the circular part!

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Two elephants were in a bathtub. One elephant asks the other "pass the soap?" The other elephant passes him the soap and they continue with their bath.

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how do stick a dead baby into a blender and why???????? feet first so u can see the reaction on top.

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who let the dogs out my mom because they're fat and need exercise

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Turkeys are obese

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Jacob Edwards has friends.

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What do you say to a fat guy working out congrat him and tell him he's doing a great job and keep up the work

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Why did the pedophile skip breakfast? He said that he would grab a little something on the way to work...

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Roses are red They can be white too Violets are not blue They are violet

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What is funnier than 24 69

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how do you get a cat out of a tree? shoot it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops