How do you turn a piece of meat into a vegetable Break her neck

Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

How do you know if an elephant has been in your fridge? If it is laying in pieces around the crumbled wreckage of your house. [L]

What do a Siamese cat and a birch tree have in common? Both exist.

Why did the plane to New York not land? It was redirected to Boston because of inclement weather.

How high is the sky? True or False

What's worse than dropping a dollar down the drain? Getting a needle shoved up your penis and it scrapes the insides of your balls open so that all of the sperm pours out of your balls and you are screaming in agony and you can never have children in the future.

My mother has chlamydia. That's it.

what did "A" and "B" look for when they went to the beach? what are you talking about? letters cannot travel!

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Knock knock! Who's there? ... There was no reply because the person who knocked was the mailman delivering a package, and he had a tight schedule so he couldn't stay around to chat.

my grandpa has the heart of a lion, and a permanent ban to the zoo.

A man is unemployed, ugly, short, fat, smelly and stupid. That's what she said.

What do you call a Man who likes little childeren A Nittany Lion.

how do you make a little boy cry? Kill his parents in front of him .

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They beat her mercilessly.

Why did the officer arrest the black man? Because he suspected him of littering. ...and because he was black.

An elephant stomped on a mouse. What did the mouse say? Nothing, the mouse was incapable of speech due to the elephants actions.

Knock, Knock Who's there? The IRS, we're taking your house. This is a vacation notice, please be out of the property in 30 days. Have a nice day.

How did Bill Framex die? He didn't because he isn't real.

On christmas, a bunch of happy kids get machine guns for christmas.Meanwhile in afghanistan, a bunch of dissapointed kids are getting ice skates.

I viewed the terms of service and did not agree to them.

Why did the little girls ice cream melt? Because she was on fire.

A young black girl walks in to a bar. Because she was not of the legal age to consume alcoholic beverages she was asked to leave in a peaceful manner.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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