Knock Knock Who's There? Nobody, you have no friends.

Roses are red Violets are red I stabbed the gardener.

Why did the cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the third cat fall out of the tree? It was tied to the second cat. Why did the fourth cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the fifth cat fall out of the tree? It needed to get down, but couldn't find any other way down. After he fell, he was minorly hurt and ate some cat food.

What's funnier than the Holocaust? Everything, because the Holocaust was a dark time. poop in the buttcheeks

Why did the little boy drop his Icecream? Because I ran him over with my Bus!!

Why was the man squinting his face for so long? He was constipated and couldn't give a shit.

What is the loneliest number to exist? Zero. Except it's not lonely. I'm just saying there are zero lonely numbers. Numbers aren't sentient. They can't feel loneliness.

Why did the black guy enjoy anal sex? Because he has a phobia of vaginas and only likes to have anal

Oh my god, I'm on fire! Help me, help me, oh God it's everywhere!

How do you drown a blonde? Keep her head under water for 2 minutes because thats when the human brain starts to loose oxygen.

Why did the plane crashed? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

A bass player walks past a bar. What? It could happen.

What did the doctor say to his dying patient? Shit happens.

What happens when you put an embryo in a blender? I don't know, I was too busy jerking off.

Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become? A. It will Wet or Sink, as simple as that.

Three guys and 4 Catholics are in a bar. They guys are making a joke. The first one says I'm gonna go to Oregon there's no Catholics there and the second one says I'm gonna go to Ohio there is no Catholics there and the third one says I'm gonna go to Alaska there's no Catholics there and one of the Catholics walk up and say how about you go to hell theres no Catholics there.

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knock knock whose there?? seth oh, come in

Whats red and is bad for your teeth? A brick.

hi im paul!

A racist indian (from india) walks into a bar (in india). A catholic priest walks into the same bar. The bar says 'moo'. The bar is a shape-shifting cow.

Three men of varying ethnic backgrounds jump off a building and yell different things as they fall to their death. They were all very good friends and neglected to have had a trip sitter watch them take hallucinogenics. The group of school children below the building are traumatized for a good portion of their lives.

how do you refer to a guy with a backwards baseball cap and leather jacket and low riding? by his first name

Wanna hear a Harry Potter joke? Knock Knock Who's there? You know You know who?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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