Why did the duck eat the fish? It needed protein.

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Q: Who would win in a fight, Chuck Norris, or a Tank? A: Chuck Norris, because his hidden fist in his chin gives him 3 fists to the tank's 0.

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Do not use your phone, I repeat DO NOT USE YOUR PHONE, at this point we do not know enough, as for this kid, he is about two minutes from getting his ass locked in a nice prison, I told them he does not know anything, and I will make sure he does not squeal, you should be good, even if I got to take care of him.

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What's worse than being a replacement? An insufficient replacement.

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Then none of us want to be right.

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What do tomatoes, apples, oranges, lemons, and peaches have in common? They are all fruits.

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"hey do you know the date" "58"

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Wuts brown and smelly? Brown smelly stuff.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? Misthrown

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When did the War of 1812 begin? 1963.

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Q:Why did sarah fall off the swing? A:She had no arms. 1:Knock knock 2:who's there? 1:not sarah

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? Because he got hit by a bus.

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why didthe man's computer crash? the man has a serious porn addiction

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Where did the did the Islamic person fly the jet to? Ben Gurion International Airport located in Israel

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What do kittens and napkins have in common? You can sneeze into both of them except the kitten doesn't like it

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

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What did the five fingers say to the face? Nothing. Fingers cannot talk.

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A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

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Why is the redneck crying? They died of diabeetus.

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Yo mommas so fat that when she walked into the ocean all the whales were far away. However, if the whales did happen to be closer to your mom it would be highly improbable that they would sing.

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Whats worse than a suicide bomber? Hubcaps

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Roses are red Violets are Blue Let's just screw

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Two cows are sitting in a bathtub. One cow says please pass the soap. The other cow says nothing, cause it's a cow, making it incapable if speech. The other cow was just a guy in a cow costume.

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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