What is the difference between an anti-joke and a joke? The word anti before anti-joke.

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Why did the Skyrim guard stop adventuring? He was killed in action and his family misses him terribly.

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I have never liked jokes. They promote laughter, which is the music of Satan strangling hairy children and wildebeast. I'd like to thank anti-joke.com for their work in the struggle against hilarity.

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what word starts with 'p' and ends in 'orn'? popcorn you sickos

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Two clarinets were locked in a case for 20 years. They both play well.

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How many jews can you fit in a car? As many as the compacity of the car can hold and how big the jews are

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Three midgets walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer, the second one orders whiskey, and the third one ordered water because all three of them had agreed that he would be the designated driver that night.

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Why did my car stop suddenly? I had arrived at my appropriate destination.

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The awkard moment when you realize you either have cancer, are pregnant, or a combination of the two.

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If the blue man lives in the blue house, and the yellow man lives in the yellow house, who lives in the white house? The blue man. He has made a good living with a high salary and has enough money to afford two houses.

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What did Goldilocks ask the Three Bears? Nothing, bears are aggressive mammals and killed her before she could speak.

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How do you kill an already dead man? You don't he's already dead.

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A black guy and a white guy both get pulled over by a cop for speeding. The white guy is promptly released with a stern warning, whle the black guy is thouroughly questioned and has his car searched for drugs, with the probable cause being that the black guy has bloodshot eyes, reeks of weed and has a bong in his frontseat.

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What's the difference between a convertible and a dead baby? One's in my garage, and one's a car.

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What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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do you know what happened to the bravest warrior in the battle who got stabbed in the foot while trying to rescue puppies from a burning building and dying children? well he took the children and puppies home, and ate them. then the SWAT came in and killed him. so yeah... oh... suck my a s s barf

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A man walk into a bar he buys a few drinks. When he is done the bar tender gives him his check. Man told the bar tender he has no money to pay for it. Bartender says," ok how about this we have a horse in the back that hasn't laughed a day in his life if you can make him laugh you get the drinks for free." so man proceeds to do so. A few minutes later man comes out horse is dying. So the man gets his drink for free. A few days later man comes back with the same deal. So the bartender tells him" that horse hasn't stopped laughing since you went back there. If you can make him stop you get your drinks for free." Man goes in a few minutes later comes out horse is crying. Man man is remarked by how he did it but he doesn't question it. A few days past the man comes back an the horse is still crying...... So the bartender ask the man how he did..... Man says," first I told him I had a bigger dick then him....second time I proved it"

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Liar liar, your dead nans carcass is on fire.

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how do you call a big red creature eating rocks? the big red rock eating creature.

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Why did the moose cross the road? Migration.

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If somebody stabs you in the forehead, you are likely to get injured.

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Hey I just banged you, and it was crazy, delete my number, and keep the baby.

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Why did the piano explode? Beacause someone planted an explosive inside of it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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