When will Abe Vigoda be alive again? Never. There will never again be a time when Abe Vigoda will be alive. For example, Abe Vigoda will be dead for the entirety of the year 2038. He will continue to be dead if we move forward to the year 2091, and even if we keep jumping forward throughout history, stopping in the years 2250, 2871, and 3546, we will not land in an era when Abe Vigoda will be alive. Another way to look at this is to imagine Abe Vigoda had died in earlier years. Let's say he had died in 1902. Would he be alive today? The answer, sadly, is no. We get the same answer if we suppose Abe Vigoda had died in 1822, 1715, or ~ 85,200,000 BPE. To sum up, it is not precisely accurate to say that Abe Vigoda will be dead for a very long time. That implies a limit on the amount of time he will be dead. There is no limit.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the chicken cross the road?? Blue.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How do you wake up lady gaga? You set her alarm clock for a reasonable hour.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police, your entire family died in a car accident. ... ... The police, your entire family died in a car accident who?

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A blond is on her way driving to the airport when she sees the sign "Airport left." She made a left turn and got to her flight on time.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

This guy was walking down the street and a homeless guy asked him for money. The guy said "Why don't you get a job?" So the homeless guy began to cry because all he wanted was a dime not to be humiliated.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A homeless man gets a computer. Later that day he is found dead inside the computer.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

what is black and looks like a rasberry a blackberry

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's black when its clean and white when its dirty? A black guy that rolls in flour.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

what do you use to blindfold chinese person? dental floss!!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the chicken cross the road Who the f*** let out the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How do you scare a black man? Burn his house down.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

a man was hired for a job. he made a lot of money and was able to support his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Nock Nock Whose there? Your mom. Stop locking your door.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

no really what are ur names?

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Tom: Hey Fred. Do you wanna hear a joke? Fred: Sure Tom! (long pause) (10 Minutes Later) Fred: Tom, I thought you were gonna tell me a joke? Tom: I did, the joke is that there is no joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Where's my baby??

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Once there was a pig named Poga. When he grew up, he was slaughtered and made into bacon.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

When did joseph the deer learn to fly? - Never, deer can't fly

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did 3 kids mom's die last year? Because they were depressed and committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

a pope and a catholic priest walk into a bar... the priest orders... then the pope says to the bartender "I'll have what hes having." so the bartender takes out a small child and says ...."are you sure?"

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Two fish are swimming and hit a cement wall. One fish says Dam.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops