Why was the Mexican stopped at the border? He forgot his passport.

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I literally died laughing

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What did the boy skip rocks with? -A rock

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There are two muffins in an oven. Since they are inanimate objects, they do nothing but sit there and bake until they are a golden brown color, at which point a man takes them out of the oven and eats them for breakfast.

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What's the new green? Green

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What is the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes back from camp.

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Mr. Wonder, optimism is seeing the glass as half full, pessimism as seeing the glass half empty, and realism as not seeing the glass at all.

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what did pedobear say to the 60 year old man nothing he was too busy molesting the girl across the street

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What did the pirate say when his parrot died? Nothing. He was upset and didn't really feel like talking.

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A Scotsman, an Irishman and an Englishman walk into a bar... They enjoy their drinks and leave.

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There are three muffins sitting in an oven. The first one says nothing. The second one also says nothing. They're just muffins and muffins can't talk.

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A blind man walks into a bar. It was a book shop.

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A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

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Why was the black man crying? His wife left him, took his children, and most of his possessions in the divorce.

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A man walked into a house, He never came back out as he fell down the stairs and snapped his neck, His family mourn him everyday.

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What do you do with a leg less dog? Take him for a drag.

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What do you do at a club? You club.

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9 Cats on a boat. One Jumped off, how many left? 8.

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MAKE

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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Why did the black man get stuck to the ceiling? Because he was spiderman.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get ran over.

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whats red bubbly and looks out of a windo? a baby in a mocrowave

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A man and a friend are playing golf one day. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: "Wow! That is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You are truly a kind man." The other man replies, "Yeah, well, we were married 35 years."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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