A guy walks into a bar, he has a few drinks than leaves.

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Why did the blond fall of the ladder? She had no arms.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead.

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What happened to the guy who ate the alarm clock at 6 o'clock in the morning? He died

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When life hands you lemons hand them back because you don't like lemons

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what did the little girl find when she opened the freezer in her basement? food.

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Knock knock. Who's there? You know. You know who? "Call him Voldemort.... Fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself."

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The joke below me is retarded

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Why did the black man buy a watermelon? Because it tastes good.

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clamidia

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Person A: Is your refrigerator running? Person B: Yes Person A: Good! Now, your milk won't spoil.

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What do you call a black man in a suit? A lawyer.

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What's funner than a barrel of monkeys ? Not the Holocaust .

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Noses are red, pilots are blue I am dyxslexic boo who

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a. why? b. because I wanted

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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How many Facebook friends does George Bush have? None because he doesn't have a Facebook.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the Long face" The horse then storms out of the bar, wondering why every bartender must ask him that.

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What's yellow and has six legs ? A cat. I may be wrong about the color and the legs, I'm color-blind and I can't count.

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Why are leprechauns so happy? The grass tickles their balls

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Just open the damn door

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What do super heroes say after they beat the villain? Nothing, super heroes are not real.

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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