One walrus says to the other, "Why are you shaking like that?" The other walrus says, " I've been addicted to ectasy for three years. It's ruining my life."

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I didn't use protection So here's your baby

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Why did the Fly die? Cause it died the average life span is 30 days.

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what do you call a black guy under water? A Scuba Diver

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A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods, the bear turns to the rabbit and says "I have colon cancer."

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"Did you fall from heaven?...Cause your face is really messed up."

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You know your in Houston when... The highway sign says so.

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why did the titanic sink, it was hit by a iceberg

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house?. No, Well neither has he...

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Jellybeans

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Why did the turtle take so long on his run? Because he never went on a run he walked.

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Why can't Larry drive? Larry's a rock.

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What happened when the dinosaur walked into a lake? It got wet

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Mommy, why did daddy leave? Because you touch yourself at night sweetie.

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A zebra walks into bar, the surrounding customers in the bar become very intrigued why this exotic creature has wandered from Africa into New york. Before they can come to a concluson animal control opens fire on the creature, splatering its organs onto the tables. This event ruined the night for most customers and they fileout of the bar calmly but sad

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Knock Knock The door's open, wipe your shoes off on the matt

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What do you call a midget driving a train? A conductor

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What's green, little, and eats rocks? A Little Green Rock-Eater What's green and has a thousand wheels? A lawn, I lied about the wheels! If I were to throw a rock down the a whole in the center of the earth (straight through) what would happen? The Little Green Rock-Eater would eat it!

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Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He died

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Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? Trees can't jump

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A man and a bird are on the edge of a cliff. The man falls off and dies and the bird flies away because birds can fly and people can't.

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Hickory Dickory Dock, Three mice ran up the clock, the clock struck 1, and the other 2 escaped with minor injuries

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yo mamma's so fat she's fat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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roses are red violets are blue some poems are good and some don't

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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