How many babies can you fit in a blender? None, the blender is too small. Also it is illegal to kill a baby infant because they are considered human. You can get life in prison or the death penalty for committing such a heinous crime.

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Not even I believe you will ever know yourself that well ever Nero, you see what you created as a false illusion, as all of your, or rather our effort for nothing, as a pathetic attempt to create heaven on earth. In my eyes, you succeeded in doing so, and if it where for you, or more people such as yourself and I, it would have lasted, stop trying to give people what they do not deserve, and remember that making others happy will never cure the sadness and pain deep within you, only cover it. Stop fleeing from yourself, stay, get to know yourself.

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What did the terminally sick child dream of? I dont know. He never woke up to tell me.

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Why couldn't the tractor start? The farmer lost the keys.

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Person 1: *sneeze Person 2: bless you Person 1: I'm jewish. They never spoke again.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the slaughter house.

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What's hard when you eat a vegetable? The wheelchair.

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it was dark outside so u know what i did....went to sleep

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Once there was an English man, A Scottish man and an Irsh man. They were all in a scenario where each of them had to undetake a task. The English man and the Scottish man undertook their task without any problems, but the Irish man was confused resulting in a hilarious outcome.

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whats worse than a worm in your apple? the Holocaust

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Why couldn't the hobo buy any clothes? They did not have his size available.

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A man walks into a bar... He has a severe drinking problem, and his wife weeps for him

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long mane?"

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whats white and sticky? a white stick

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What do you call a fat cat? Nothing if you are a good person

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Why are black people so good at sports? Through Dedication and lots of training of course

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I'm at a payphone. Though I'm out of change so I'm unable to call my girlfriend and break up with her.

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A: Why did the chicken cross the road? B: Why? A: To get to your house. A: Knock-knock B: Whose there? A: The chicken!

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How to pick up chicks Pick up a chicken but must be a baby

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Why did Jim get hit by a train? Because he was standing in the tracks.

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What's white and smells like crap? An albino tird. Just kidding, Justin Biebers music.

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what did the boy say to the over weight girl your fat

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Praise Paisley

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I got a new jacket. The jacket had real cotton inside the sleeves. The next day my new jacket was gone, but the one i bought yesterday wasn't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops