A Blond and a Brunette are falling down to their deaths, which one hits the ground first? Does it matter? They both die anyway.

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A man walks into a bar and orders 12 shots. "8?" Asks the bartender, to verify he had heard correctly. He feels unsure of giving the man 12 shots but does so anyways due to his financial situation and he hopes for a generous tip. Afterwards, the man kills 9 people in a car crash due to his level of intoxication and the bartender seeps into depression due to his feeling of guilt.

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What did the Black guy say to the Jew? Lets be equals

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Why did the chicken cross the street? K

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what is the difference between a banana and an orange? bread.

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Why did the boy cry? Because he was a crybaby

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what did the addidas sign say to the nike sign? I'm all in

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My mom so fat, when she jumps gravity pushed her away from the ground

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whats worse than a paper cut? getting your head chopped off

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Q: Why did the baby cry when it came out of the moms stomach? A: The doctor dropped it!

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A Muslim, a Jew and a Christian are on an airplane talking about religion. The Jew tells the Christian he believes in a single holy entity. The Christian says he believe Christ is the Son of that very same entity. The Muslim says "When can I get out of this room?" because he's been detained at the airport due to religious profiling.

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What's the difference between Tom and Jerry? One is a cat, and the other is a mouse.

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Why does Suzie like to wear sunglasses? Because she's blind.

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What did the homeless guy say to the not-homeless guy? I'm homeless.

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Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple.

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How did the chewy cross the road ? it was stuck to the chickens foot.

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One time at band camp.............tha'ts it........

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"The hills are alive..." Impossible, hills can never be alive.

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You are in an airplane, and you have 500 bricks. You throw one out the door. How many do you have? 499. What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a fridge? 1-open the door,2-put the elephant in,3-close the door. How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? You open the door, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in, and shut the door. The lion king is having a party for all the animals… which one didn't go? The giraffe, it's in the fridge. An old lady is trying to cross an alligator infested river. She makes it over. How? The alligators are at the party. She dies anyway. How? She gets hit by the brick you threw out of the window.

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A man had come into a bar. No wait, it was a horse. A man had come into a horse.

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What starts with P and ends with "oop" POOP

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There is a blonde, a redhead, and a brunnette stuck on a deserted island. the redhead gets sick of being trapped, so she decides to risk the 100 miles back to shore. she begins swimming, gets 10 miles out, gets tired, and drowns. the brunnette gets sick of being trapped, so she decides to risk it too. she gets 50 miles, gets tired, and drowns. The blonde decides to escape as well. she is able to swim 98 miles, gets tired, and swims back.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

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What did the boy find I'n his water? Ice

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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