What's worse than a baby on a mattress? A baby under a mattress.

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How many electricians does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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How many times have I said the word shingles? twelve.

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I love you

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What is better than life? Nothing.

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what happened to the boy who got hit by a truck he went to the hospitel

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Johns mother asked him were he had been. John simply replied the shop.

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You know what they say about guys with big feet. They have big feet.

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why wouldn't the man's car work? because it was broken.

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What did the Asian see when he went to Youtube.com? Youtube.com

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melons are berries, tomatoes are fruit, being a smart-ass isn't that good.

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My uncle was involved in 9/11... He called me before the plane crashed into the twin towers, his final words were so comforting... "ALLAH AKBAR!!!"

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What did the bartender say to the fat guy? Hi

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That was me, I thought we where friends now... I am so sorry, I really did not send anyone nor anything, I would never do such a thing! What happened to you is terrible, I did say I knew who they where and that they are in prison, but that was a lie, I just wanted for you to think I was really confident and in control. Please Nero, let me speak to you, nothing is like you think, Jenny is my stepmother, please don't do anything.

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your goin down...aint no tomorrow...wha bang bang

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What's the difference between a 7 year old boy and a 50 year old man? Hair.

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How did the little boy with cancer run in his running race??? Very Well....

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why did dicks dicks the dicks dicks? because you're gay and dicks

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So I saw a man trying to push a plane. I asked why. He told me to mind my own business and go get ebola. And that's why I left for Africa.

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hey i just met you and this is crazy but so

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What is better than a dead baby nailed to a tree? A dead baby nailed to 10 Trees.

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What do you call a spider with no legs? A spider.

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Why did the sloth swing from the tree? It hung itself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops