A baby seal walks into a bar. Animal services are called and the seal is returned to its natural habitat. A man then beats it dead with a blunt object.

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Roses are read bacon is good poems are hard .........BACON

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knock knock. no one's home..

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A Pole walks into a Pole. They chatted for a while, talking about the good old times they had had together in Poland. They soon finished their conversations, and went seperate ways.

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What is the most dangerous gull in the world? A gull with a machine gun!

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What do you call a black man in a cotton field? A farmer

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Question 1 - What is 1 + 1 = Hospital

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Do u know what would be a big pain in the ass? A thorn

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why did the chicken cross the road? it was in a refrigerated freight truck en-route to its destination.

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Knock, knock Who's there? You're adopted...

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A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

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whats the difference between valium and m & ms ? one is,nt a tasty little chocolate

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When life hands you lemons hand them back because you don't like lemons

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What happened to the guy who ate the alarm clock at 6 o'clock in the morning? He died

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Whats Red and smells like Blue Paint? Red Paint.

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Why did the man push open the door? The sign said PUSH.

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why didn't the dog run after the ball? he was blind.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The customers observing this quickly leave because the bartender is talking to a horse, which does not talk.

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Animal

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A guy vociferiously kills another person- fueled by the incentive of personal gain provided by his rapacious, human nature. He is an army soldier who's triumphant in battle and hoping to recieve a promotion. However, ultimately all he did was essentially insignificantt and his acts of purported valor were diametrically unnoticed by all except for his closest friends/allies. He never did supass his original self of a soldier and died of a natural cause that was disclosed only to the members of his immediate family.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She's a women.

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A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian says "I'm worried about your book choice, maybe you should consult a theropast".

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2+2= 478

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What do you call a black guy with a shotgun? A fine American citizen exercising his 2nd Amendment right.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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