How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Blond answers: Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat............?

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What's a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Oh..wait...that's actually an anti-joke already...

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Why was the plumber sad? Because his family died in a car crash

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A black person tans and starts to peel, what do you get? A white person.

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Ask me if I'm Abraham Lincoln. Are you Abraham Lincoln? No.

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Why cant Sally ride her bike? Because she has ceribal pausly

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Why did john have to have back surgery He needed his back "screwed" up

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How do you make a French-man cry? Kill his family.

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How many bears does it take to screw in a light bulb? None; it’s a fairly menial task requiring little more than a single human hand. Requisitioning any number of bears for the effort would be an extremely dangerous “Rube Goldberg”-esque solution to simple problem.

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Why was Dr Who unable to travel back in time using the TARDIS? Because it's just a television prop. It isn't a real time machine.

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, and the very next day, I died because I didn't have a heart.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Peer pressure

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What's the difference between a black man and and a bag of crap? A lot, but mostly the bag

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What's black and sits at the top of the stair case? Stephen hawking in a house fire.......

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Whats worse tan finding a worm in your apple? Being touched by Michael Jackson

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How do you kill a beetle? Wait outside his apartment and shoot him

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whats funny? when isreal special forces hunted down nazis after ww2 and killed the fucks

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How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died

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What did the blond do on October 12th? Get hit by a bus

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Why did the orphans kill timmy? timmy said a your mom joke.

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Why are Indians so bad at football? Curry

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A man walks into a pole and says "I know, this pun is lame"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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