Why is Easter better than christmas? Theres a significantly less chance of getting raped by a man in a Santa Claus costume.

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how do you get a 1 armed moron out of a tree? you wave

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What's the difference between Mel Gibson and a pineapple? Well at a molecular level, not much because both are made up of atoms.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: So it could get hit by a car, to prove that chickens have free will, and have every right to cross a road without any particualar reason.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Why the long face?" And the horse says "I have cancer".

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? -Because he was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? -He was stapled to the first one Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? -He thought it was a game Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? -He had no arms Why did the girl fall off her bike? -She was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator

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There once was a mountain climber. He loved to climb mountains. He had climbed all of the world's tallest peaks...except Mount Everest. So, one day he decides to climb Mount Everest. He takes weeks and weeks to prepare himself. He trains and trains three times a day till he thinks he is ready to climb Mount Everest. Climbing up it takes forever. It feels like it has been days in the dreary cold. Finally, he reaches the peak. It is a glorious occasion. On the way down, a huuuuge storm rolls in. He falls down a cliff and breaks both of his legs. The pain is unbearable. He screams and screams but no one hears him. Finally after what seems like days, a group of monks find him and carry him to their monastery. Chapter Two Once the man wakes up he thanks the monks for saving his life. They give him a room, food, and nice clothes. Every night in his room, he hears a banging behind his dresser. It is really loud and he is quite annoyed by it. The next morning he asked the head monk what the noise is. The head monk says " I cannot tell you, you aren't a monk." He hears the banging noise every night. HE asks the head monk every morning but he always says he cant tell him because he isn't a monk. So the climber decides to become a monk. After years and years of training to become a monk, he finally becomes one. Chapter Three So he says to the head monk, " I am a monk, so now can you tell me?" The head monk replies, " I can't tell you, but i can help show you. So he pushes the drawer back and reveals a little door, He gives the man a lantern and says to go through it. The man goes through the door into a little, dark tunnel, eager to finally find out what the noise was. He crawls for what seems like hours and hours and hours and days and days and days and days. He finally gets to the door where the banging noise is and opens the door. What he sees amazes him. Do you want to know what the banging noise was? I cant tel you, you aren't a monk!

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? I don't know, why don't you go ask him?

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Why did the black kid die? He had cancer.

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Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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You know what makes me smile? Face muscles.

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Q. What did the girl on drugs get for Easter? A. Down Syndromes Disease.

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Why didn't the girl's ring fit? She had no fingers.

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What song does a bulimic person sing while on the toilet? Nothing Bulimic people don't poop.

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What is the difference between Chuck Norris and a frog one wears pants and the Chuck Norris doesn't.

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Why did Phil Krahn cross the road? Because he is gay

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What did the hobo get for Christmas? Hypothermia

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why was the teenage girl crying? She was molested as a child

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sex with dead people. they can't say no;)

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Your mom is so stupid that her parents were probably ashamed of her low grades.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" He says, "I have acromegaly"

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Q)Why doesn't the blond have a job? A) he is 12

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Why do black people like kool aid? Why It is a very hydrating and delicious drink

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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