Men

What shall we do with the drunken sailor? Call the police to have him escorted off the boat for operating a large veichle under the influence of alcohol.

Where do the biggest potatoes grow? the ground.

why is my wife crying? because she doesn't like tomatoes

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree??? Because it was dead.....

How can you tell if someone is vegan? -they'll tell you

anti-joke.ru - russian style

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

a man walks into a bar. it was a metal bar. his balls hurt.

Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar And doesn't

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

thomas the train walked up to an old man and said nothing. mostly because trains cant walk, and they cant talk.

like if u think princess kenny id the fairest maiden in all the land. if u havent played or watched pewdiepie play south park the stick of truth, disregard this message.

Little goldy locks was walking through a forest and stumbled across a nice cabin. She went inside and ate some newly made porridge and slept on the various beds that were there. The owners of the house came back from a stroll of their own and sued her for breaking and entering.

Why do alcoholics use brown bags? Because they are ashamed of what they have become and seek to repress their guilt by entering into denial.

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Chuck Norris walks in to a bar then many people greet him because of his celebrity status.

Why was the boy's face red? He put his cat in a blender.

Why was 6 afraid of seven? seven commited statitory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8, murdered nine, was sent to jail for life, let out early for community service, and told 6 he was coming forhim 6 months later.... 6 commited suicide by jumping off a cliff his body was never found his family didnt get to say good bye thats why 6 is afraid of 7

911 jokes are just plane wrong

An astronaut, a nun and a fireman walk into a bar. They all order something to drink as they have all had a busy day.

i'll leave 'em dead in the living room. get it leave 'em dead in the living room

There was once a man named Larry. Larry was an office worker for a paper company. One day when Larry was counting papers he got a papercut on his left hand. Therefore his finger began to bleed as he sat in agony. What did Larry do next? He got up and got a band-aid. Larry continued his paper work at his desk.

What is both blue and yellow at the same time? Green.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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