why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease, an STD from the chicken, as the chicken is a pimp) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

mat (telling anti joke): so you are stranded in a desert, right and kyle: no. Mat: no man i'm Kyle: no (kyle was later found dead)

Do you know what's the sexiest thing in the world? Sex.

knock knock whos there open the door and find out

What's worse than a dead baby falling out of a tree? Two dead babies stapled together falling out of a tree.

What Happens when you shoot a deer? It's Dead

How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

What happens when you give a Parrot a pack of cigarettes? Animal Rights Activists get upset and condemn your actions.

Two guys walk into a bar, and they ordered two drinks. Then the bartender said, "Two dollars, please." - Brandie PANG

why was allison crying? because her mom's dead.

How do you kill a squirrel? Take the jaws of life. Rip it in half. And suck on the organs.

What do you call a puppy with all it's legs missing? Franklin, the quadraplegic puppy.

Face Hunter is scum

Q: What's worse than stepping a LEGO in the middle of the night? A: A landmine

walk into your friend’s house and say “what’s up with the dead guy out front?” (you have to murder a person for this joke to work)

Why did the chicken cross the road. ... It didn't.

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he has no sense of living and no muscles to move.

What bouriquet got to do open HIS FACEBOOK!

What did the Apple Tree say to the Oak Tree? Nothing.

Woman:I give my Heart to You! Man:Thank You!!! The Woman then dies because one can't live without a heart

Andi: I have a great knock-knock joke, but you need to start it. Jake: Okay...Knock-knock! Andi: Who's there? Jake: ...

why did the tortoise cross the road? it does not matter, it got hit by a vehicle and died on impact.

What's black, white, and red all over? An African American and Caucasian man painting a house with red paint and accidentally spilling some on themselves

What's the difference between a prostitute and your mom? Your mom is a well educated lawyer who earns half a million dollar a year while the prostitute sells her own body for an extremely small amount of money.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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