Yeah, "master hypnotists" (and do not even get me started on hypnotherapists, they completely suck!) keep claiming that you need to keep up to date with the "constantly developing art of hypnosis" The thing is though, that hypnosis does not develop itself, people develop it further, and when the key ingredient is actually believing things under a certain state, you can do anything, even slow the passage of time to a halt. Once I tried that, I was disappointed when I figured out that it did not work, so I went shopping (for groceries), then realized that no time had passed at all, sounds like bullshit, and yeah I wont be trying that again anytime soon, lucid dreaming is good enough, you can spend hours and hours in a lucid dream state, days, and then wake up and figure out you slept like two hours or something.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are rather unintelligent animals which clearly underestimate the dangers of crossing a busy road.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Q: What's worse than losing your job? A: Seeing your entire family die in a car accident

thumb_up thumb_down -32

A father of four joins the military. He returns home after his service.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

knock knock who's there peedo peedo who scissors

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why did the angry kid press the button? The button said "press here angry kid"

thumb_up thumb_down -32

two muffins are sitting in an oven one muffin turns and says "boy it`s hot in here" the other muffin can`t bring himself to explain to the other they are about to be eaten alive.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

what is big, grey and sits in the middle of a field. A filing cabinet

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What did Hellen Keller say when she drove up to the stop sign? Nothing, she doesn't drive.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What is the easiest method of making multiple women fall head over heels? Have a wingman help you raise a rope at the start of a women's running race.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Bill: My vagina is itchy. Tom: You don't have a vagina. It was later found out that bill had a sex change and did have an itchy vagina, due to an STI. He later died of cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

30cm = 0,3meters

thumb_up thumb_down -34

You know what's funnier than a pile of dead babies? A pile where one's alive in the middle, and has to eat his way out.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Curiosity killed the cat, Oh wait, I thought the dog did.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Once upon a time, there was a Y O U M A D and they all lived happily ever after.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

knock, knok who's there? ya ya who? yahoo

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What is worse then having no dad? Russian dad that hates you a lot and wishes you drawn in vodka.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why are people attacking the Jews we gave you so much things like: Television (Thomas Edison) Electricity (Thomas Edison) Weapons (Arvin Humbergs) Wifi (Edcolsin Vinstein) Be gr8 ful without us your nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why was the black person playing hockey? Because he found an interest to the sport during his childhood years.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Please don't tell anybody about me, or I will be hunted down, taken from my family, and be objected to a life of cruel exploitation.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What does bigfoot have? Big feet.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why? Because.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Roses are red Violets are blue one plus one Equals two

thumb_up thumb_down -34

How did the man know he was gay? Australia is full of kangaroos

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops