Why did the girl have an abortion? Because she wanted a burger.

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What does the ice cream man say to the kids? Hey kids want some ice cream?

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It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

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Rebecca Black walks into a bar. The bartender refuses to serve her because she is not yet 21.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse then says nothing because horses cannot talk, only humans can talk.

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Why was the drunk man arrested? he beat his wife and was sentenced too 3 months in federal prison

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one day a boy asked a Manican if it had a pulse it didn't

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because that's where the oncologist's office is.

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Once upon a time a was born

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How many polish people does it take to change a light bulb? Just one. The polish are a civilized and prosperous country.

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No, you would have made me unhappy and yourself miserable, until you truly value who you are, as we that still look up to you to this day, you wont see the greatness within you.

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What would happen if the whole world farted at once?

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why did hellen kellers dog run away? because if your name was awughunguh you'd run too.

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Q.what happens if a fat man see's a black man? A. the fat man eats the black man thinking that he was chocolate

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what happens when you throw a green rock into the red sea? -- it gets wet

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What is yellow and white and goes 150 miles down a railroad track? a duck.

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What did the facial stylist charge Jack Sparrow to get his ears pierced? A buc-an-ear!

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Q: Why do black people like fried chicken? A: Because it tastes delicious!

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What noise did Helen Keller make when she fell out of the window? None. She wasn't aware that she was falling and died immediately upon impact. @rowakaflocka

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what's worse than the holocaust? nothing.

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How did the woman get pregnant? She was thrown into a pool filled with semen.

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What's black and white and red all over? Half of a zebra.

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How do people from Indian Hill laugh? Like an Indian, huh, huh, huh!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops