Vancouver Canucks Hater: What time is? Another Vancouver Canucks Hater: 6 past Luongo

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What is the black kid down the street getting for his birthday? Well first of all, his name is Pat. And he asked his parents for an Xbox that he will likely receive, and I assume a variety of other gifts from friends and family.

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Why did the black person jump the fences? because he was in a relay race.

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Your momma's so fat, she died on the operating table during her bypass surgery.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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There are 3 people in a car, shit, manners, and asshole. They are driving and shit falls out. They pull over and manners gets out to help shit. Then a cop comes and pulls them over. The cop ask asshole what his name is. He said asshole. The cop said what. Then asshole said asshole. Then the cop says where are your manners. Asshole said over their picking up shit.

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What did the fish say when he hit the wall? A. Dam B. He Charlie I found the wall C. Both Well he didn't say both but he could have said A or B but it wouldn't make sense for him to say both.

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Two women get in the shower at the same time, because they both start work at 8:00am and have commutes of similar length.

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why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't he got ran over half way.

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A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

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Yo mama is so old, the bone structure of her spine has decayed significantly since she stopped growing and has therefore shrunken in height considerably. Her face and hands have accumulated abundant visual wear; wrinkles, and has arthritis as well.

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A cat walks into a bar, the bartender says "pussy?"

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Can everyone please stop posting shit about my girlfriend because it seriously isnt cool.

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roses are red lemons are sour open your legs and give me an hour

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What's worse than getting murdered? Getting murdered twice? - Louis

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What is green and if it fell on you from a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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Why didn't the kid get a bike for Christmas? Because his parents died and Santa's not real

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A student exclaimed "This test is a piece of cake!" He ate it.

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STFU Stop Tickling Fuzzy Unicorns they really don't like it

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Why did I deleted brian from my friend list ? Cuz he had brain tumor.

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Q: How do you make an mail man cry? A: Take his car and run over his family.

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what looks like a banana? a penis

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If you walked into a grocery store right in the middle of Cuba what won't you see? The missing Malaysian MH370 Boeing.

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Did you hear about Billy's magic trick? No? Don't worry, it was a trick question.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops