why did the chicken cross the road? Because there were no traffic.

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Kid 1 Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken. Kid 2 Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys. Kid 1 You know what? I think you're right Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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What do you call a blue penquin dipped in chocolate doing the samba? A blue penquin dipped in chocolate doing the samba!

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A blind Man walks into a Bar. A young man quickly runs over to him and helps him up.

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a brick cheated on another brick, the brick that was cheated on was angry and became disgusted at the brick that cheated. the current brick that was cheated on tryied top kill the other bitch brick, the brick that cheated tried to break up the fight but testicles

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whats floppy and smells like trout? trout.

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What is the difference between a seal and an armadillo? They are both aquatic animals, except for the armadillo.

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Q: What did the air freshener say to the car??? A: Nothing. Air fresheners are inanimate objects

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A car with four Mexicans drives off of a cliff. What's the bad news? They were my friends.

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Who gave Miley Cyrus her new haircut? Hellen Keller

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Why did th chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the cupboard cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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what did the girl say after her boyfriend proposed? she said no because they've still got a lot of stuff to deal with before they even consider getting married and he seriously needs to get a job and dump his other girlfriend.

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When you have read this, you've already read it.

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why couldnt the man run because he had no legs

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Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Except for the cases when you die...then you are dead.

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Why didnt santa leave presents under the tree? Because santa doesnt exist.

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Why do people waste time reading these jokes. Because they like anti jokes.

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Two penguins in a bath tub, one says "Pass me the soap" and the other one says "What do you think I am, a radio!"

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What's worse then failing a math test? Your mom getting shot

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What happens when you forget your parachute as you jump out of a plane? You wake up.

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Roses are blue Violets are red I'm bad at poetry Potato

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Face...tastes like chicken!

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If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? -Allergies.

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Why doesn't Santa Claus like cantaloupe? Because he doesn't exist. You have to exist to like cantaloupe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops