If life gives you lemons, you are probably suffering from hallucinations.

Guess what? Bananas

What did the man do when he went in the bathroom he took a crap wiped his butt and washed his hands and went back to meet his family at the dinner table

Why did the little girlbnot wake up? Because her mother smothered her in her sleep.

What's more painful than having your girlfriend cheat on you and leave you? Having your **** bitten off slowly.

Johnny Manziel is the best quarter ever (this isn't a joke just a true statement)

What is the worst part about dying? no-one cause no-one has ever survived dying to know what it is like so how is it possible that I would know

Why did the boy go swimming in the ocean? He didn't. the current pulled him in and he drowned.

I went to church.. i didn't get raped. I went to school... I didn't get raped. I went into a back alley... I didn't get raped. I went home... I didn't get raped. Today was better than yesterday...

why did the chicken cross the road it didnt it got eaten

How is a fat girl like a tiny motorcycle? She isn't, and you should be ashamed of yourself for even thinking how she might be.

Why did the two black men break into a bank with guns? It was being robbed by a white man and they were police officers.

Why can't black guys eat babby back ribs... Beacause They are black too

The child was fired from his job.

Wanna know a Chuck Norris fact? He is 72 years old and likely to die soon

What has seven ears, four legs and two arms? Nothing.

What do you hear when you put your foot on a man's ear? A man saying, "WTF are you doing?!"

If an ugly person got raped. What would that be called? Nothing. It is never gonna happen. Kelvin Yang.

Q:What does a wheel a triangle and a circle all have in common A:There all round, I lied about the triangle.

Why is there air? To blow up basketballs

Your momma is so fat, she should be concerned about her increased risk if a heart attack because of her poor eating habits.

did you hear about the circus fire? it was tragic and hundreds of people were killed.

here kitty kitty

What's worse than having a worm in your apple? 2012.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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