Why do cats have nine lives? Because they don't have ten.

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Your mother is so fat, we needs two fat jokes to adequatly make fun of her.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Totsie Roll totsie pop? Altough many tests have been done, there still isn't a certain number. There are many variables involved with this question.

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Why did the white kid tear up while watching a segment on slavery? He got something in his eye.

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Whats worse than falling off a bike? rape.

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Lol, thats funny, sorry for asking, but is your eye doing better? Was their IQ test the same one you get when you enter their site?

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knock knock... ...no answer

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the power to turn magnetism into light

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A dimetrodon, a pterosaur and a chicken walk into a bar. As they enter, the bartender says "Hold it! We are not licensed to serve dinosaurs." "I am not a dinosaur," said the dimetrodon. "Neither am I," said the pterosaur. "But I am," said the chicken. So the dimetrodon and the pterosaur enjoyed a cold beer each, but the chicken had to wait outside.

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Roses are red lemons are sour open Your legs and gimme an hour!

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Q. What you call a Guy with no arms an no legs in the water? A. Bob

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How many dead babies can you fit in a child's swimming pool? 9 (Trust me, you won't be able to squeeze the tenth one in there.)

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What do you call a girl who has recently been raped? Dead.

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boy and girl are flipping a coin, coin lands on heads, boy: get down bitch

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What did Selena Gomez say to JB? We're breaking up cuz u smell like French fries and you look like a poop

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in·fun·dib·u·lum? 1. a funnel-shaped organ or part. 2. a funnel-shaped extension of the hypothalamus connecting the pituitary gland to the base of the brain. 3. a space in the right ventricle at the base of the pulmonary artery.

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Why was the boy sleeping on the curb? he wasn't actually sleeping, he actualy just got hit by a car and had already died.

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A cow walks down the stairs. Not really. They are incapable of walking down stairs. It actually died on the roof.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Although this is a highly improbable scenario, one would assume that, being a chicken, it did not have much of an intuitive idea as to what to do while it was stray for whatever reason in an urbanized area. Considering chickens do not harbor nearly as much of a mental capacity as it would require to even comprehend the concept of a "road" and is impervious to the idea of oncoming traffic and such, the fact that it happened to be crossing the road was in fact not even recognized by the chicken. For this reasons I deem this question unanswerable.

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Is it a bird, is it a plane?! No it's.... It's a bird.

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Why did the Titanic sink, even though people said it was unsinkable? Grit and determination.

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought is was yours.

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Why did the Smartie get fired from the M&M factory? For throwimg out all the W&Ws

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Why'd Sally fall of the swing? Sally's a fish.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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