What do chickens, pictures and babies have in common? Nothing.

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A man and his friend are talking. The man says, "You know what's funny? Sometimes you mean to say one thing and you say a completely different thing. Like the other day I wanted to buy a ticket to pittsburgh, but the lady I was buying it from had very large breasts, so I accidentally said 'Can I have a picket to titsburgh?'" And the other guy says, "Yeah, man, it's really funny you say that, the other day I meant to ask my wife to pass the salt, and I said 'you whore, you ruined my life'"

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how do you make a cat get out of a tree you shot it

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What do an Eagle and a sugar cube have in common? The fact that if let to disintegrate they both turn slowly to hydrogen after a period of time.

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Why the West African Rhino is extinct? They were never Horny

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An slutty attractive secretary went into her boss' office He killed her.

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People Eating Tasty Animals

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

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It's porn, we all knew that, do you have something interesting to say?

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roses are red, violets are blue, Hitler killed 6.6 million jews.

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Whats long, green and falls out of trees? A canoe. Why did the old man fall out of the tree? He was in the canoe.

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Three Jewish men walk into a butcher. They dont buy any pork products and thank the butcher for his services.

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A priest and rabbi walk into a bar. The priest leaves because they don't have wine.

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How do you get a clown to stop smiling? Polity ask him to stop.

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What's the difference between tires and a black guy? Tires don't scream once there are chains around them. ;)

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You want to know how I got these scars? A horrible knife throwing accident.

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What did the priest say to the little boy? "Reading antijokes in rapid succession takes almost all humor from them."

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A child rides his bike down the sidewalk and stops at an intersection. He looks both ways, then crosses the road. What was he looking for? His family.

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What's green, [ THIS BIG ] and flies around the room... A remote controlled gherkin!

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Why was the tree sad? Trees cannot think or move, and thus cannot feel emotions.

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Whats worse than suicide? death

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Hillo, its Spodermen, teiling u i fuked ur bich.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have the Cadillac, Get the Guns

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What's big, red, and eats rocks? A big, red, rock eater.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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