What's black and white and red all over? A penuin that got bit by a sea lion.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? ?? She had just prepared her breakfast and was late for her full-time job as a police officer.

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Dyslexic drunk died choking on his own vimto last night

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So I was walking down the street the other day, I went to the shop.

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A Muslim walks into a Bar, He buys everyone a round of drinks and enjoys the rest of his night

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A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A lot of things, you just gotta keep your eyes peeled.

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What do you call a sheep with big teeth? Mitch

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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Pretty vague, if I did not know you, Id conclude you where working for some mob syndicate or something.

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What's black and white and enforces the rules at football games? A referee? Wow you're really smart.

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Whats the difference between a truck full of babies and a truck full of bowling balls? You can't unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.

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Huh, I never succeeded in any of those, and I tried a lot. Please tell me you never gone with something nasty like that...

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? He got hit by a bus. Why did the bus crash? It hit a boy eating an ice cream cone.

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What's the difference between a fat person and a whale? The quality of the fat. -Japan

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How do you know if you have a good slave? It is hard working and determined... And black

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A small boy is playing on the sidewalk. Then, he is approached by a black van. The boy gets in the van, and the van drives away. Then, the man driving the van says, "So, how was your day, son?"

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why did the chicken cross the road? because aliens dont wear purple hats.

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Roses are red Violets are blue This doesn't rhyme F*ck it

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How to confuse a dumbass: see next post.

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Women's Rights

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Think of a number between 0 and 2 That's how many times you're going to die in this life

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Q: Why do black people like fried chicken? A: Because it tastes delicious!

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Who would win, Chuck Norris or a T-Rex? The T-Rex, Chuck Norris would get ripped apart like any other human-being.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops