What did the ocean say to the shore? Nothing, water and sand are incapable of speech. Unless of course you are Harry Potter in which case you can cast a spell on them and turn them into a cat which still couldn't talk and them from there you could wait for them to evolve which doesn't actually exist so you would have to ask God and then you would wait for a few years than they could say hi.

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Ethan's girlfriend is a salg hahahahahahahahahahahaha fucking meff she needs to die

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Charlie, Charlie the drunk guinea pig! OUR BEST FRIEND!!! Angel Charlie: I'm already dead yah poof!!! Butt cancer killed me.....

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Q: What's 1 + 1? A: I don't know, I am an African who was bought up in the famine my mother died, my father starved. I have to sell myself to feed my sisters. I never went to school and drink my urine every second day because I have no water.

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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Whats better than giving birth to a disabled son? A Blowjob

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why are you worrying about the chicken? You just got shot.

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What do you call a man will dementia who just killed his cousins, wife, children, and teacher. His name. He's still a man until he's put in a mental institution.

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There are two types of people in this world, those that can extrapolate from incomplete data

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Your Mom

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Why was the girl crying? She got shot in the penis

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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What did one pig say to the other pig while sitting in the bathtub? No thanks I already have a typewriter.

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Q. Whats the diffrence between a squirl and a chipmunk? A. A squirl has a squirl mom and a squirl dad while a chipmunk has a chipmunk mom and a chipmunk dad.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Why did Steve Jobs step down as CEO of Apple? Because he died.

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Whats worse than getting a papercut on the side of your finger? Being shotgunned in the ass

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Why did the plane crash? A loaf of bread was the pilot

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What's black and self-describing? The words of this joke.

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What did the Apostle John say to Jesus of Nazareth? "Oh, blow it out your butthole."

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Yo mama so fat she left the house in high heels and when she came back she had on flip flops. tom halls mum

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A blonde walks into a bar; she orders and enjoys her drink and then leaves with her thirst quenched.

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Whats werst than taking candy from a baby. Throwing a baby off a cliff then eating the candy in fronts of its parents

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what`s green and flys a plain i was kidding about the green

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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