Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I chucked a shit and flushed the toilet.

How do you make a sandwich? Go into the kitchen and make a sandwich.

If anyone has a KIK, put it in the comments.

Randomly Dialed Homeowner: Hello? Prankster: Hello is your regrigerator running? Randomly Dialed Homeowner: Yes... Prankster: Oh good. I was just calling to make sure. Have a good day!

Q: What did Jenna Jameson say when she heard hard banging near the front door? A: Come inside

Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted better pay.

What's worse than getting a apple and finding a worm in it. Getting hit in the face with a meteorite.

why did joe diragi cross the road there was food on the other side

Knock knock! Who's there? Me.

A man goes to the store to buy a kitten. While there, he decides to buy two because he is feeling particularly hungry.

Bigfoot, Santa, a dumb blonde, and a smart blonde all jump off of a cliff. They all reach terminal velocity and at impact at the same time. However, no one really cares.

Roses are red, violets are blue, i suck a poetry now show me your tits!!!

I went to work today....

How did the plumber fix the leaky faucet? Trick question. The plumber is actually an iguana.

Q: what is an anti-joke? A: Coffee Volvos

What do you tell your dad if he constantly gripes about his balls? He's got testicular cancer and he's going to die a horrible painful death.

70% of heroin addicts die at some point in their life.

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead

knock, knock who's their? police get down on the ground!

What did the boy get at the bowling alley for his birthday? a corpse. *from Bones

A bartender walks into a bar, and starts his shift.

Roses are red Roses are also white and Violets are Violet not blue. Also I'm a realist and your grandmother is going to die soon

A black man checks his watch. He sees that its 3:50, and calmly carries on with his day.

I completely thought you where bullshitting me, how come I never noticed before? How and why?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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