How do you piss off a lion? You repeatedly poke it with a stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Who Lives in a Pineapple Under the Sea? No one, its physically impossible to live in a fruit and breathe under water

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Whats skinny, round, tall, smells like a dead baby, hard, small, and fat? nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the boy with no arms get for christmas? Prosthetic arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A black guy and a Mexican guy opened a restaurant. They were very successful and became the most popular restaurant in town.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's big, white and will killl you if it falls out of a tree? A polar bear.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

3 guys walk into a bar to tell an anti joke. The bartender asks them to leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

In Soviet Russia... People were burned alive for refusing communism.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did Helen Keller say to her eye doctor? Nothing, she is incapable of speech.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Whats massive, long, hard, cold, and is blue? A penis in an ice cube.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A baby seal walks into a bar. Animal services are called and the seal is returned to its natural habitat. A man then beats it dead with a blunt object.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

your mama is so fat that she weighs 261 pounds.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

- Why did the black man turn off the TV when he saw 2 guys kiss each other? - He was late to the gay-party around the corner.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was the Catholic priest incarcerated? 2 counts of child pornography and 3 counts of sexual abuse with a minor. Since he is now released, he's working as a janitor of an elementary school.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why do black people like chicken? It's usually fried.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the pigeon rape itself? It had mental issues.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? A wood chuck CAN chuck wood, that's why his a wood chuck.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How are a duck and a tri-cycle the same? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I was walking down the street one day when suddenly, a chicken crossed the road. Apparently it wanted to cross to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the girl fall off the swings? She didn't have arms

thumb_up thumb_down -1

how much wood could a wood chuck chuck? 3

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the cow cross the road? To get to the slaughter house

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops