How do you torture Helen Keller? You put her on a table and slowly pull her limbs off

thumb_up thumb_down -19

a mother: my little boy always asks me to take him to see dinosaurs...but they are extinct. me: take him to a museum you dumb bitch!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why couldn't Ariel talk in the Little Mermaid? Someone slit her throat.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's better than fornicating two 4 year old twins? Killing their parents in front of them before you do.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why to lawyers wear neckties? It's part of the uniform.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

the awkward moment when a sentence doesnt end the way you think it octopus

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the baby's bedroom smell so bad? The mom farted.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Robin, get in the car!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Roses are red, Viiolets are blue, Get in the gas chamber, You dirty Jew.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why couldn't Helen Keller Drive? Because she was a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q. What do you call a grammatically incorrect horse? A. An horse.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Your mama is so fat, we are all seriously concerned about her health.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Three men walk into a bar, the bartender asks why are you three men in here? The men look confused and suddenly leave

thumb_up thumb_down -19

why did the blond have a broken nose? because she was brutaly beaten by five rapists when she refused to have sex with them.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

why did the kid with no legs get eaten by wolves? he couldn't get away

thumb_up thumb_down -19

An innocent man's home was raided by police, who accused him of grand theft auto. It turns out it was just a case of mistaken identity.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

If Johnny has 5 apples and Susie has 7 apples, will they give them to the homeless?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

two snow men standing in a field and one says to the other can you smell carrots

thumb_up thumb_down -19

There once was a boy walking down the street. He got shot in the head. He died.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a black woman that flys a plane? - a pilot...

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

your mom is so fat.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A mermaid found a magic lamp at the bottom of the ocean. She rubbed it and a cat with 9 lives came out so he didn't drown.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops