How long does it take to cook a baby in the microwave? I don't know, I was too busy jacking off.

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Why did the murderer buy a lizard? He thought that they were cute.

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9/11

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A black guy and a Mexican are in a car. Q: Who's driving? A: The cops

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Why did the little girl jump off a cliff? because she was at a cliff jump at a water park

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Q: why did the boy fall off his bike? A: he wasn't very coordinated

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How did the little boy break his arm? He was trampleed by elephants.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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One day a girl comes home crying to her father. Father, Father! She says, a boy i met touched my shoulder! Like this? Her father says and touches her shoulder. Yes just like that, a bad part was that he kissed me on my lips! Like this? her father says and kisses her on the lips. Yes just like that but the WORST thing was he stuck his you know what into my you know where. Like this? Her father says as he sticks his you know what into her you know where. Yes just like that father but he had AIDS! ......( Awkward silence)..... oh shit.

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Hey hey what did the bald man say to brian moccia? lOL!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead.

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why didn't the dog run after the ball? he was blind.

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Women's rights.

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What did the homeless guy do when he found a quarter? He picked it up

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A guy vociferiously kills another person- fueled by the incentive of personal gain provided by his rapacious, human nature. He is an army soldier who's triumphant in battle and hoping to recieve a promotion. However, ultimately all he did was essentially insignificantt and his acts of purported valor were diametrically unnoticed by all except for his closest friends/allies. He never did supass his original self of a soldier and died of a natural cause that was disclosed only to the members of his immediate family.

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Whats skinny, round, tall, smells like a dead baby, hard, small, and fat? nothing

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A man and a talking elephant in a waist coat go to a party. The party is actually an intervention for the man because he's on drugs and is ruing his life. The elephant is not real.

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Whats the difference between black and white? nothing,because in art they are just shades.

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i came... i saw... -myself when i came.

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clamidia

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Think about this. I am lying to you right now.

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What do you call a black guy with a shotgun? A fine American citizen exercising his 2nd Amendment right.

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Why did the Booger cross the road? because He was getting picked on....

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Know what's worse than being publicly embarrassed in front of your crush? Jeffrey dahmer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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