What did Helen Keller say to her eye doctor? Nothing, she is incapable of speech.

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Q: Jeff has 10 cookies, He eats 9. Now what does he have? A: Diabetes, Jeff has diabetes.

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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My wife has terminal cancer.

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Whats round, hard, and full of seaman? Well in the context I'm using it in, a submarine, but too the inappropriate mind when spoken out loud, could be registered as the homophone of seaman, semen, which would then lead you too think of male genitalia.

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3 guys walk into a bar to tell an anti joke. The bartender asks them to leave.

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So - this baby seal walked into a club.

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Q: Why did Cinderella get cut from the softball team? Q: She ran away from the ball.

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whats worse then getting robbed by a black man? -getting hit by a bus due to not having the needed currency to get a ride home

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Why did the catholic priest go to jail He was a paedophile

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Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Cancer.

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What did the police officer say to the boy in the park? your parents were killed in a car accident.

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What's funnier than the Holocaust? Everything, because the Holocaust was a dark time. poop in the buttcheeks

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What did one snowman say to the other? Hmm...smells like carrots.

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Theres 3 guys walking and the see a genie. He says hell grant 3 wishes. The first guy asked for sandals. The genie said"I can do that" and he got sandals. The second guy asked for rock hard abs.The genie said,"sure thing".When he looked down, he saw that he had rock hard abs. The third guy asked for a pair of pants."ok" Said the genie. And then he got a pair of pants.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Warenth Gibson. Warenth Gibson who? Warenth Gibson. What part of that don't you get?

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Why did the pigeon rape itself? It had mental issues.

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all ur antijoke are belong to us or i mean we can share, whatever

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how do you make a fat black man cry? Rape his wife.

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Q: How many cows does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Infinite, cows do not have thumbs, in fact, they have hooves. This disables them from holding any large objects without the use of their mouthes.

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Don't you hate the retarded smart people who think anti-jokes are all about really explaining but adding sarcasm? Yes.

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Why was John the octopus depressed? Because his real name was Steve, and he couldn't communicate this to anyone since he lacked the higher brain functions and vocal chords required to do so.

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What's funnier than 24? 25.

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How do you kill a blonde? Repeatedly stab a knife into her jugular vein

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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