A local police officer pulls up to tell you something. Listen carefully: Three zebras have been spotted crossing the Mexican border. He goes into his truck, pulls out a can of marbles, peanut butter, seven velcro straps and a rhino horn covered in glitter. Your mission is simple: Kill the zebras using your equipment. You will be rewarded if you have enough peanut butter to make a sandwich after. Go now... Get it done.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a gay dinosaur? Nothing, they're extinct.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Knock Knock! Who's there?! Michelle Bachman.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Justin Beiber

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Two monkeys are sittin in a bathtub. The first monkey says to The second, "HEY! pass the soap." The second says to the The first monkey, "DUDE. thats not soap, its a typewriter!!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Three black men walk into a bar. One of the men, having recently reached sobriety, opts not to commence in the consumption of alcohol. The other two, impressed by his level of restraint, decide to leave the bar and take the initiative to turn their lives around for the better.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Yo mama's so fat that she has a heart condition.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Roses are red Violets are blue some poems rhyme this one doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a baby impaled on a stick? Lunch.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Once upon a time there was a boy who was 16 and a girl who was 14. The guy is in year 10 and the girls is in year 9 . Alot of people think he is a pedofile. Comment your opinion.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

people say thers saftey in numbers, try telling that to 6 million jews

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a fat priest? Obese

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What would happen if hitler and winston Churchill was in a bar? The police will be called to take them away as there just laying there dead

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the sperm cross the road? It didn't, as sperm cells have tails not legs, and are therefore incapable of crossing roads.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Knock knock. Who's there? Chet. Chet who? I probably shouldn't be giving you my name, just get in the fucking van...

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Who was at the door when Helen Keller answered? She doesn't know

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What kind of toy do you give to a dead baby? A death rattle.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's worse than this That :(

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? I don't know, he couldn't open it.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a girl with an iq of 13 Dead

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's worse than finding half a worm in an apple? Rape and child abuse.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What is the hardest thing about eating a vegetable? the wheelchair

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Whats the difference between a Dodo and an Elephant? They're both extinct. Excluding the elephant

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops