Whats green and smells like grass? Grass scented air freshener, in a green colored can.

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Whet doesn't kill you, probably will next time.

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Why was the black man holding the knife in such a particular manner? Because he was getting dinner ready for his family.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Person A - you must be tired, cuz you've been running though my mind all day Person B - i have no legs...

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What's white, black and can't fit through a man hole? A nun with a spear in their head

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Whats green, and says i'm a frog? A talking frog.

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What's worse than slipping on a banana peel? Amanda Todd's suicide.

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A blind man cant see this joke, so I probably shouldnt write it..

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E M I L Y L Y N C H B I L L I E J E A N L A R K I N YEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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What's got four legs but can't move by itself? A chair.

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A man walks into a bar, it's funny because he is an alcholholic

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What do tomatoes, apples, oranges, lemons, and peaches have in common? They are all fruits.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died.

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chinga tue madre Ryan

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Knock knock "Who's there?" "Bark bark" "Bark Bark who?" "Bark bark bark bark bark bark."

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How many friendzoned guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They just compliment it then get mad when it won't screw.

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What's worse than getting punched in the balls? Many things inflict more pain than that

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How do you scare off a ghost? Tell him your ready for a commitment.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. Open up. We have a warrant for your arrest.

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How do you fix a chimpanzee? With a monkey wrench

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"What starts with an 'F' and ends with 'uck'?" "I don't know, what?" "'Firetruck.'"

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Guys, I think I'm gonna apply to join the Crips. My SAT score is a 2050, and their average score is a 2200. My GPA, however, is a 4.6, and their average is only a 4.2. Do you guys think that they will take me? Or should I try and apply for the Bloods?

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Q: Wanna hear a joke? A: the WNBA

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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