What do you a call a black man in a two piece suit? A respectable citizen, racial profiling is ignorant.

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why was the man scared of the tree because it was shady

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A horse walks into a bar The bartender says "why the long face?" The horse says nothing, because he's a horse The bartender soon relizes there is a horse in his bar, and calls animal control

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What do you call a vehicle has 56 wheels? Anything you want, because it hasn't been invented yet.

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Your mom is so old that she most likely will die soon.

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Why did the turtle fall out of the car? It forgot to buckle up

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Why was the Asian woman late for work? She was raped.

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Q:What the difference between a piano and a guitar A: Nothing, there both instruments and i lied about the difference

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A man walks into a bar

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Why do thieves shower before undertaking a robbery? Probably part of their morning routine.

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Q. What's white, has an orange bill, and looks like a swan? A. a swan

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How do you suppress a black hole? Surround it with white holes

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I have read the terms and conditions

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You know what's worse than finding a worm inside an apple? finding crack, too late to spit it out.

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What do you call a mother cow? Moooom

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A black man and a midget walk into a bar. They notice the beverages are unreasonably priced so they leave.

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did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off? he's all right now

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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What's pink fluff? Pink fluff. What's blue fluff? Pink fluff holding it's breath. What's red fluff? Angry pink fluff. Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a tr-- No. What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple, 'cause the other half's in your mouth. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Angry pink fluff. What's worse than angry pink fluff? The holocaust. That's not funny. Stop laughing.

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Two muffins are baking in an oven. One of them says, "Man, it sure is hot in here." and the other muffin replies, "Yep." They later die a horrid and painful death as their flesh gets burned into a nice golden brown crisp.

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how do you stop a baby from crawling in circles??????? you nail its other hand to the floor

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Knock Knock Who's there? Nick Oh hi Nick come in

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A Man walks into a bar and asks for a shot. The Bartender proceeds to unload a 30 round banana clip into his head, neck, and midsection.

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Person 1: Ask me if i'm a tree. Person 2: Are you a tree? Person 1: No.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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