What did the chair say to the guy? Nothing, as it is a chair and chairs can't talk

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I like food. But what's more than that it is necessary for survival. ASIAN!!!!

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A girl walked into a bar and sat next to a man. She asked what he was drinking. He said something that makes you fly. She didn't believe him. He then went up to the roof, jumped off and walked back in the front door. She got the drink then tried to jump off the roof, and died on impact. The bartender said to the man "You're a real asshole when you're drunk superman."

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Whats the difference between a rake and a sack of dead babys? i dont have a rake in my garage.

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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked

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what is big, grey and sits in the middle of a field. A filing cabinet

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Knock Knock ...Does anybody know how to use a goddamn door bell these days?

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Why didn't the boy get any presents for christmas? Because his parents are dead.

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What's the difference between a mac and a pc? Well haven't you seen the commercials.

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If anyone has a KIK, put it in the comments.

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Whats Worse then finding a worm in your apple. Finding a real joke on anti-joke.com

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what did the chickpea say to the raison when he got called big but? Atleast i dont have a stick up my but.

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what do you call Mackenzie Phillips? five head

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If Chuck Norris was really so awesome he would come and slam my head into the keyboard.

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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What did the man say when he lost his keys? I lost my keys. What did the man say when he saw an elephant in the distance? There is an elephant in the distance.

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What did the... Uh, I forgot the rest of the joke.

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What do you call a man having sex with his own mother. - Gross.

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Q. What happened to the man that kept an open hand? A. He is in jail because he beat his family

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What do you call a man who tripped on a rock? A man who tripped on a rock.

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Penis.

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My grandma once told me " never trust the blacks"

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A guy walks into a bar and says "ouch!" The bartender says "are you okay?" "Yeah I just stubbed my toe" Then the guy walks it off, and then orders a drink.

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A man walks into a bar with a dog. The bartender says that there are no dogs allowed, but the man says that he is blind. So the man sits down with his dog and asks for a drink. The bartender decided to check to see if he was really blind, so he says, " Hey, do you know what time it is?" The blind man replies, "7 o'clock," The bartender says, "Ha! You said you were blind! Get out of..." but was interrupted by the man, who promptly said, "No, I'm deaf," and left.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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