Question what is blue and floats Answer everything that is blue that foes not sink

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A man asked a guy in a store for football cleats The guy got all confused because footballs cannot wear cleats

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The early bird gets the worm. The rest of them die of starvation.

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What do you do when you see an elephant with a basket ball? Engage in play - if the elephant is playing with a basket ball it is most likely domesticated, and if it has toys it's probably well treated. Well-treated elephants raised in captivity are tolerant, sociable, intelligent and playful.

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Who invented apple? God

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What can an elevator do that a mexican can't? Raise a family.

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how do you turn your dishwasher into a garbage disposal? make her take out the trash.

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OMG FUCKING NERDS WITH NO LIFE CAN READ ABOUT THE POWER OF YOUR Vaginal puss puss color, no but seriously, I kinda prefer unshaven, I mean if I change my opinion I just do it myself or command that you shave yourself while I put it on my cellphone while I jack off to you, making a creampie, yeah because.

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run farther?

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I do not want to know, you want to TELL ME so that I can increase the potency of the hypnotic suggestion by... Lets say... A number that if I said would work instantly? I wrote CONDOMS ARE FOR PUZZIES... Which kinda makes sense... Just a line, from the worst game ever.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I am white and I like cold food

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roses are red violet is blue why rik go to the hospital ? cause he eat glue.

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How long does it take for light to travel a light-year ? A year.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra drinks a bear and leafs .....

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a toothpick

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Whats the difference between a bench and a black man? A bench is an inanimate object incapable of speech, emotion, or thought process.

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My girlfriend told me I couldn't satisfy her sexually. I told her she was beautiful and gave her flowers.

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If the 49ers won the superbowl

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Knock knock. "Whose there?" "Dave" Oh alright Dave, two seconds I have got to unlock the door~looks for and finds keys and unlocks door~ Hello Dave, sorry mate not been out yet so not been out, come in.........

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What kind of people have fat lips? People who have gotten punched in the lip or have suffered a serious lip injury that has caused their lips to swell up.

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What did the Rose Bowl say to the Fiesta Bowl? We crushed the Orange Bowl.

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I'd really wanted to design a car, and then craft some sort of prototype dream car and concepts but sadly, I can't even draw a straight line.

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kushagra tyagi

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What's black and white and red all over? An equality parade with a nearby homicide

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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