A bloke runs into the bank, says to the girl "Stick 'em up!" She says "Righty-o, matey" and sellotapes his bollocks to the ceiling.

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Why did the woman drop her keys? She was being raped.

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Why did the father and his son drop their cola? Because a meteor hit and killed all life on Planet Earth.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? To get to the other side!

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What did Tim's grandma get him for his birthday? Nothing, because Tim's grandma died in a car accident 2 years ago

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had AIDS

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non poop

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How did the drug addict die? He got shot in a drive-by.

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This one time, at band camp, I played the trumpet.

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why did Mark Nara cross the road idk why? he didnt

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Your momma is so fat because she ate alot!

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Your mother is so old, she could easily be considered a senior citizen.

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What did the boy with a crippled arm get for his birthday? A guitar.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My heart skipped a beat, I'm dead.

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What's funnier than 24? Nothing, 24 is just a number. There's is nothing humorous about it. Go away.

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His face was drawn, but the curtains were real.

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why did the bus roll down the hill? Children were playing in the street.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm allergic to both Now I'm dead

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What do you get when you jump into the Red Sea? Wet.

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What do you get when you cross a rhino and a whale? Comment your answer:

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Your mother is so fat that I suggest she should pay a visit to the nutritionist so they can work out a dieting plan together to prevent weight-related heart problems in the near future.

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Yeah, Eliza, its me, its so strange, you are the only one I remember from highschool, I was worried you had forgotten about me, anyway, yeah type as if you where speaking to him, and dont worry, I know I could not keep a secret back then, and I told Nero, so and he promised me he would kindly break my fingers if I told anyone, besides I dont do that anymore trust me.

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Why did they black straight guy go into an all white gay bar....? Because he went to the wrong place.

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why did the alien eat the cow? peer pressure

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops