Two Lawyers were talking to one another. The first lawyer said, "Wow this is the fourth case I've won in a row!" The other lawyer did not know how to respond because of the men the other lawyer put in jail had escaped from jail and already killed the lawyer's family.

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ROSES ARE RED VILOTS ARE BLUE I HOPE YOU KNOW IM A JEW

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What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

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What is black and likely to fail? A chain smokers lungs.

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What did the dog say to the cat? Nothing, his mouth was full of it's intestines.

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One day a man walked into a wall

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Unfortunately there are billions of chickens in the world and based on the question it is not possible to determine which specific chicken is being referred to. Even if we were able to ascertain this knowledge it would be unlikely that we could determine its purpose, as chickens don't usually make decisions based on logical thought.

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why does clive keep getting crunk? because no girl satisfies him as much as geros

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“Before I know it, he’s got both of my hands in his viselike grip above my head, and he’s pinning me to the wall using his lips … His other hand grabs my hair and yanks down, bringing my face up, and his lips are on mine … My tongue tentatively strokes his and joins his in a slow, erotic dance … His erection is against my belly.”

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A middle aged man goes to a psychic. She tells him that he has prostate cancer, and his wife has been cheating on him for the past 3 years.

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A guy walks into a restaurant.... He ordered his meal , got desert and left a nice tip based off a percentage of his final bill.

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A blind man walks into a bar. He had a few drinks then went home.

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two snow men standing in a field and one says to the other can you smell carrots

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what do you call a baby with no arms and no legs in a mailbox? a horriffic murder

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Q. Why was the black man sad? A. He had a book nailed into is leg.

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If you throw a red stone in a blue lake what does it become? Simply a wet stone.

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whats worse than a chicken crossing the road 10 dead babies in a bucket

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cancer isn't that good for you. so try not to get it

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Whats Funnier than the Holacaust? A: Nothing you asshole!

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What was the motto of the Holocaust? Yolo.

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Yo mama is so fat, she just had a heart-attack.

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two muffins are in a oven the one muffin says jee its hot in here and the other muffin says wow a talking muffin

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A drum and a cymbal fall off a cliff...

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What did one Platypus say to the other Platypus? Nothing, Platypuses can't talk. However, they are the only mammal to lay eggs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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