What did the retard say to the other retard.. hey timmy how was work?

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A my dog was a rappa. He recorded a hit. But it had no lyrics, because he is a dog.

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Why did the clown fall out of the tree? He got shot.

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Roses are red Violets are red Grass is red OMFG MY LAWN IS ON FIRE !!!?

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 was a really creepy movie

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What do Michael Jordan and Michael Jackson have in common? The same first name.

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i remember when i was a child i wanted a skateboard but my parents would never buy me one so late one night i crept downstairs and got a hammer and some wood and i beat them to death my foster parents baught me 5 skateboards

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Why did the kid get on the bus. Because he had to go home

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i was in bed with a girl recently and she said to me 'I want tonight to be magical', so afterwards i disappeared.

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Why does the kid cries when he sees me? Cuz i took his lollypop last week.

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Roses are red, violets are red, Tulips are red, bushes are red.... WTF MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE.

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there" "BOO" "BOO WHO" "No it's just BOO"

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You may notice something very odd about this paragraph. There is something strange although you can't figure it out. It is boggling your mind and keeping it from thinking of the real purpose of this paragraph. It is like an enigma in an enigma in an enigma in an enigma. Stop thinking hard and think inside Da Box. I just wasted your valuable time although it's not really valuable if your looking at this website.

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http://cache.deadspin.com/assets/resources/2008/04/Deer_mating2.jpg

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Q. What do you call a man with a shovel in his head? A. An ambulance due to the fact that he has a rather serious head wound.

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Whats worse than finding out one of your grandparents died, finding out both your grandparents died.

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Why is it bad to have 10 blond girls in a closet at the same time? The closet is a very compacted space and one of them is a claustrophobic.

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"What's up?" "A movie about an old man who takes his house to South America by tying balloons to it, who accidentally brings along a young boy with him and they have an adventure."

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Jack and jill went up a hill to get some water. Jack fell down, twisted his ankle, and continued to roll. He broke his spine and collar bone and he was later taken to the hospital. Later that night he died because the doctors couldn't do anything. Jill then killed herself in mourning.

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Yo mama is so short, she has trouble reaching the top shelf.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Why did Sally have a headache? She had a Brian tumor the size of an eggplant.

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What do you call a sober man driving a car? a designated driver

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What do you tell a women with two black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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