Q: Why don't people like me? A: Because I smell bad and I give off a creepy vibe

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Why did the airplane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why isn't Abraham Lincoln on Mount Rushmore? Because he doesn't have a helicopter and he's dead.

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Why didnt Jimmy go to school on Thursday? Jimmy is a vegetarian!

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What do you call a group of geese? A giggle

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When you give your homecoming date flowers, you're really handing them a bouquet of sex organs

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What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It couldn't. Before it could cross, it was killed and then consumed by an average American

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What does it mean when your dog goes to the bathroom on your floor? He hasn't been very well potty trained By: robobob123

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What did the little boy with cancer ask for from the Make a Wish foundation. A cure and to lose his virginity before he dies.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. Traffic was too backed-up so the chicken took a different route.

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I touch my sons dick XoXo Wendy.

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What's old and baggy? An old bag.

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A tortoise went for a run. It took him two hours to get around the corner.

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What did the the White blood cell say to the bacteria? Nothing. Its a cell. It goes through phagocytosis.

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What happens when your first name is Newton? You get nicknamed NEWT

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no jokes left :( ill try to make some more the ones with nude in my comments is mine

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What is white and can't climb trees? Powdered sugar.

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Mr. Krabs lives in bikini bottom (pinch pinch)

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4 people: A pilot, Bill Gates, the Pope, and a little kid, are all on an airplane with only 3 parachutes, when the plane's engine explodes and starts to go down. But the pilot makes an emergency landing at a nearby airport and everybody is okay.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a fridge at him.

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what happens if you toss a grey stone into a red sea? it gets wet...

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So there's a monkey in a bar. I forgot the rest of the joke but your moms a whore

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops