Little Justin's bike has a flat tire has a flat tire. He asks his dad to inflate it. "Sure Justin I can fix that for you." Said his father. But he overinflates the tire, causing the tire to explode and ignite the chemicals. The house burns to the ground, killing Justin and his parents. The fire then spreads and the hole city burns. 50,000 people die.

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Why isn't Abraham Lincoln on Mount Rushmore? Because he doesn't have a helicopter and he's dead.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Knock knock? Whos there? Knock knock. WHOS IS THERE?!?!? Knock Knock is, my name is Knock Knock.

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What can bankrupt people buy? Free stuff.

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Why did the little boy fall down the steps? Because he wasn't a very stable person.

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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Why did the airplane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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whats wrose than slipping on a banana? Getting Shot in the face.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why can't Albert Einstein hold down a job? Because he's dead.

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Q: Why don't people like me? A: Because I smell bad and I give off a creepy vibe

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Two guys walk into a bar. The Third ones a duck

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it is an animal without a high enough level of intelligence to see the dangers in doing so.

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How many Cancer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Cancer does not affect one's ability to install light bulbs.

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Why couldn't the little seven year old girl paint her finger nails? She fell in front of a train.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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no jokes left :( ill try to make some more the ones with nude in my comments is mine

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What do you call a group of geese? A giggle

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What is white and can't climb trees? Powdered sugar.

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What did the the White blood cell say to the bacteria? Nothing. Its a cell. It goes through phagocytosis.

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If a tree falls on a woman and there is no one around to hear it, she was probably lonely.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. Traffic was too backed-up so the chicken took a different route.

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Mr. Krabs lives in bikini bottom (pinch pinch)

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What happens when your first name is Newton? You get nicknamed NEWT

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops