A cat walks into a bar. The bartender says "What would you like to drink?" The cat says "Meow."

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this isn't meant to be a joke, but just letting all of you know, inside jokes don't count and kony jokes aren't funny

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whats worse than finding a worm in your penis having your wife bite of your penis and die from an infecction

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Yo mamma's so fat, we are all seriously concerned for her health.

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A walks out of a bar and the joke is cut off by a-

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What did the man with sores on his tounge get for a birthday present? He recieved a very nice pair of trousers which he wore to work from time to time

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A can walks into a bar...HAHAHAHA JK LOL thats not possible! What was I thinking? Silly me! -David Bruggen

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what do you get when you combine an astronaut, a microwave and a bathtub? A suicide investigation

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What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

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Why did the black man kill himself? Because he had a very serious case of depression brought on by his recent divorce

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why is 6 afraid of 7? haha! because 7 ate 9 no because 7 is black

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Q: How did the woman die in the black neighborhood? A: She suffered a fatal heart attack while visiting one of her friends. Everyone mourned their loss.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Bill Bill who? Bill your neighbor. Can I have some flour?

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whats wrose than slipping on a banana? Getting Shot in the face.

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This is a joke.

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What did one liar say to the other liar? I'm very honest.

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Death by kayak

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What did one cat say to the other cat? Meow. What did one dog say to the other dog? Meow. Why was the man sad? He had a retarded dog.

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Q: How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Let's go ride bikes!

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Whats worse than the Holacaust? Stepping on damn Lego's. MrBounty44

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? lts of stuff like murder, rape, slavery, poverty, mindcontrol, mass genocide, the holocaust, racism, plagarism, physichal assault, war, terrorism, massacres, onsloughts, necrophillia, the dead rising, zombies, jokes on antijokes.com, awkward situations, dieing, cancer, ADHD, other mental illnesses, paint, the grim reaper, shinigami, stereotyping foreigners, prejudicism, bullying, armed robbery, hacking, viruses, incest, feral animals, getting lost in the forest, arsonry, pyromania, passing out in a bar, meeting a serial killer, and finding 2 worms in your apple.

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Two men walk into a bar...They are traveling together for a convention and like pub type bars and are excited to be there.

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what's worse than both your parents dying? finding out that they were hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt and they left you nothing, including the house, oh and you have to be out by the end of the week, the bank is ready to re-possess the house, especially since your parents haven't paid the mortgage for 8 months. oh, by the way, happy birthday! written by KA

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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