Relax, it simply would not be working out for you if your mother was nearby, you see, the subconcious is limited by the concious mind, so if your subconcious can detect your mother (or anyone but me nearby) your conscious mind goes "uh oh" and it stops. Oh, right, and considering you can still type, how about we increase the effect into... I dunno, six billion? Yeah six billion. Anyway, the next time you want to experience it, just poke your nose, and since we do not want you to poke your nose off, you only do it once and you can yourself decide when it ends, at this level you should not be able to type, but if you want to type you can of course turn it off.

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Yo mama is so fat she could be a plus size model because she's big and hot.

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Your mama is so....well we've been friends since childhood and I know your mother passed away recently. So, as to refrain from being an insensitive jerk to a good friend. I will tell this joke to someone with a mother who is fat, dumb, lazy, ugly, or has a combination of these traits. Or has none of these and happens to be a nice lady with a son/daughter who just enjoys a good mama joke.

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Okay so there was a turtle, a pig, and a donkey. They were out fishing when suddenly they spot a man in boat. The man said he hasn't eaten in 5 days and he is very hungry. He looked at the turtle and said "no, too much shell." The turtle was happy and left. He looked at the pig and said "no, too much fat." The pig ran away and was very happy. He looked at the donkey and said "I think I'll have donkey today." The donkey ran away because he was scared. The man died from hunger.

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Why couldn't Bruce drive a truck? Cause Bruce was a Fish.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks him, "Would you like a drink?". The horse cannot understand english and is confused by its surroundings. The horse gallops out of the bar knocking over a few stools

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What did the black man say to his wife? Nothing, she had died earlier that year after a long battle with cancer.

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Why did the man commit suicide? Because all meaning in his life were gone.

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There once was a man from Nantucket... Who was fiscally responsible.

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Why did the man get ran over by th STREET? Because he crossed the TURTLE!

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Knock Knock. Who´s there? Tsu Tsu who? TSUNAMI!!!!!!!

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So there's this white guy with a huge dick.

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If life hands you melons you might be dyslexic

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What are annoying? Ads.

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Why couldn't the little pirate see the movie? He was busy

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What's the difference between you and a bucket full of shit? The bucket...

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Your dad is so gay that he payed for a male prostitute to have sex and now your family is in ruins.

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How do you find a true idiot jump in the road when the light is green.

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What's similar between a black man and jelly babies? Nothing

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- What is worse than a baby in a trash bin ? - A baby in five trash bins.

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your momma is so fat that she should be worried about her higher risk of heart disease, diabetes, and ugliness.

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Beans, beans good for the heart, the more you eat the more likely you are to grow into a healthy young man/woman with low risk of heart disease.

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where did susan go durring the explotion? every where...

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What's brown, smells like shit, and are annoying as hell? Taking shits

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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