A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. His family is struggling financially and his children are severely malnourished. If he wasn't an alcoholic, he could afford healthcare for his family and move into a better neighborhood. But he's not, so they will die a long, painful death.

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How do you make a Child cry? Slaughter his dog and feed it to him convincing him its Chili

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Why was the lady afraid of cooking? Because her husband always beat her with a frying pan

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A girl walked into a bar and sat next to a man. She asked what he was drinking. He said something that makes you fly. She didn't believe him. He then went up to the roof, jumped off and walked back in the front door. She got the drink then tried to jump off the roof, and died on impact. The bartender said to the man "You're a real asshole when you're drunk superman."

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What do you call people in a plane crash? Whatever, i wasn't on the plane.

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What do you call justin bieber haveing sex with a lady? A dream

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What did the mother say to her son? Nothing, she was dead.

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Q. What do you call a grammatically incorrect horse? A. An horse.

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What do you call an Islamic man fling a plane? A very frightened passenger who took over flying the plane when the pilot collapsed due to a heart attack

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Knock knock? Who's There? I AMMM!!! (thumb this down please xD)

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What's green and frolics in the forest? A flock of cucumbers.

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What did one sausage say to the other? Nothing. Sausages don't talk...

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How do you stop a dog from barking? Cut it's head off

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What did the woman with a terminal illness get for Christmas? A diagnosis.

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Why did the monkey eat the pineapple? IDK, ask Sam D

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Yo momma is so stupid that the only test she passed was the mental retardation test.

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Q:If a tree falls in the forest and nobody is here to hear it, will it make a noise A:That Philosopher probably had a lot of herbal tea in the morning

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How are you doing today? I'm fine...Except for the rape.

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Why didn't he finish his

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why was their a child on the sun? There wasn't he would be incinerated

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Guy: Hey, you want to dance with me? Girl: Who me? Guy: Nooo that bench over there...

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what is long black and smelly the welfare line

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69

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The name "Hunter Barksdale".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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