Roses are red Zombies are hungry and blue My brain is half-eaten And what about you?

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Why was the Jewish man celebrating cinco de mayo? Because he likes other cultures and Mexican food Except pork

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All of the people in the burning building escaped except for one what was wrong with that one person? He was a blind, could not hear and was in a wheelchair.

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a man ran into a bar screaming. he now has a severe coma

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why was the little girl crying? because i raped her.

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What has hands but isn't alive? A dead person.

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A cat playing laser tag.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police, your child has been in a terrible car accident.

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Person 1: Ask me if i'm an orange.. Person 2: Are you an orange? Person1: No..

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What's big, black, and just knocked an 8 year old girl off of her bike? The refrigerator I just threw at her. (not all are white you know)

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* Why is this dog barking? * Because he's a dog, if he were a cat it would meow.

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What is worst about the great white shark? It's hundreds of sharp teeth, strong tail, or subtle racism? Probably the teeth.

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what is long black and smelly the welfare line

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(To the tune of Perry the Platypus) He's a completely retarded Allosaurus of action! A purple dopey dimwit who always giggles away! He never does anything But children's songs he does sing And the little kids squeal whenever they hear him say... *i love you, you love me* He's Barney! Barney the Dinosaur!

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Roses are green violets are brown wait a minute..........my shoes untied

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One day Rebecca Black was driving down the street in a brand new convertible Luckily a policeman pulled her over after observing that she was far too young to be driving a car. Underage driving is a serious offense and should not be endorsed in music videos.

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There are two muffins in an oven neither can say anything at the moment, however, because both are in excruciating pain.

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Q:Why did Hitler lose World War II? A:His "gas" bill.

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Why was Michael Jackson so bad at dancing? Because he had a broken leg.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender lights him on fire.

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a 7 year old child is watching a show that involves a c0ck, an ass, a bitch, and a bastard......... However this show is completely appropriate for a 7 year old, what could possibly be inappropriate about a chicken, donkey, dog and an orphan?

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Q: What did Peter say after a long day of work when he got home? A: Nothing, in fact he has job, home, family, or anyone to help him. His leg is pinned down by a large piece of metal that fell on him while looking for food to eat at a construction site, expect him to die of bleeding in the next 24 hours.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You think this will rhyme But it's not gonna

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why am i a dick head. because my gcse's spelt fudge and i dont like fudge so i project my anger into boss things

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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